


Ocean Man

by Amydiddle



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: (At least it seems that the character is dead), Almost Drowning, Character Death, Creativitwins, Drowning, Gen, Lack of air, Major Character Injury, Major character death - Freeform, Monster - Freeform, NOT REMROM, Near Death Experiences, Near Drowning, Near Major Character Death, OC Monster, OC villain - Freeform, Ocean, Remus being a good brother, Roman being a good brother, Sanders Sides - Freeform, The other sides play side characters in this for a bit, Twin senses, Water, sorry - Freeform, sword fights, thomas sanders - Freeform, unedited
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2020-10-05 10:01:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 19
Words: 40,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20487062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amydiddle/pseuds/Amydiddle
Summary: There had always been natural twin behavior between Thomas’ two creative sides. They seemed to speak in another language only known to them, they insistently fought over which was older, and they were naturally competitive.But there was also the unnatural. The seeming telepathy between them, the habit they had of finishing each other’s thoughts or sentences or answering at the same time. Knowing when one half of the pair was hurt. When one half of the pair was in danger.When one half of the pair was dying.





	1. Free Fallin'

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! 
> 
> Welcome to Creaivitwins angst! 
> 
> Warning for this chapter:  
-Dangerous stunts, ocean, drowning, weaponry, uuuuhhh...that is about it

Sand crunched under his bare feet as he walked along the beach. The sun hung low in the sky and created a long shadow that disappeared into the dark green water. Wood and shells scattered the shore as waves began to move higher and higher as high tide came back in to greet the moon.

Sea foam wrapped around his ankles as he diverted his straight path along the sandy shore to a cluster of rocks. He grabbed onto a stone; the cold, wet algae finding a way under his fingernails as he pulled himself up. Each pull and tug, movement of ascension, was met with some hesitation as he adjusted his grip so he would not fall back onto the rocks below.

The man pulled himself up onto a hidden path, more likely a part of the rock had broken away long ago and left this flat section. The ledge he stood on was barely wide enough for him to stand, his back forced to be against the rock wall behind him, so he did not fall.

Salty wind blew his messy bangs into his face as he began to inch around the rock, careful of every step that he took. He used his bare feet to feel for any loose stone before he put his weight fully onto it. The journey would have taken an inexperienced climber twenty minutes, but he did it in half the time.

Down below him the beach was gone. Waves hit the rocky sides of the cliff angrily. The dark churring water only seemed more menacing as the light of the sun began to disappear. Soon he would be left in the dark, but he did not care.

A grin stretched onto his face as he hopped nimbly to a ledge much wider and easier to keep balance. Enough room for him to feel perfectly safe and steady.

The bag that he had been carrying was put down carelessly as he looked down over the side. Down at the choppy waters. His grin fading into a look of confusion when he thought he spotted something under the dark waves.

Cautiously, he moved closer to the edge and squinted down. The darkness of the oncoming night no longer a comfort as it hid something under the waves. His toes curled to clutch at the edge of the rock; body resisted the want to look closer in fear of falling.

“Hello?” His voice echoed off the walls and was drowned out by the sound of waves, “Are you one of mine?”

There was no answer. He stood up straighter and took a small step back from the edge of the cliff. He furrowed his brows in thought. The shadow below the waves had been too vague for him to tell what waited below the waves.

“Guess I am not doing an evening dive,” he sighed to himself. A black expression appeared on his face before he shrugged and he turned on his heel, “Ah well. Can still work on my super-secret project.”

With a flick of his wrist the cliff face that housed the ledge he stood on opened-up like a door. Green torches came to life and showed a long hallway that seemed to go on for miles. Water dripped from the ceiling and the hall gave a blast of cold, damp air.

The man took in a deep breath and sighed. A happy smile on his face as he moved to grab his bag. He did not make it over to it. The cliff ledge he stood on shook and made him slip on the slippery rock. He held his hands out to catch his balance.

For a moment it looked like he would be safe as his lower back hit the rock he had been balanced on. His breath left his lungs with a small wheeze as the surface under him fell still.

Something below him had smashed into the rock.

Something under the waves.

He turned his head to look down back at the water that was below him. Somehow, in this vulnerable position, the drop down seemed much farther then before. In the darkness of the newly settled night he saw nothing. Only heard the crash of the waves. His heart pounded wildly in his chest as he tried to sit up.

Another hit shook the cliff more.

He began to slide.

Hands unable to grab onto anything he felt himself tip off the ledge. Wind whistled around him loudly as tried to shake himself from his shock to grab onto something; anything.

He heard someone screaming. He vaguely wondered who it was. Who noticed his fall?

He only became aware that it was his own scream when what little air he still had in his lungs was knocked out by the force of the water as he landed. The pain from the hard smack hurt. The waves tossed him under and then smashed him against the cliff that he had once stood on top of.

The saltwater stung his eyes as he forced them open as the waves continued to pummel him against the rough surface of the cliff. What little air he still had escaped in bubbles as he tried to figure which way was up; which way was towards air.

Black danced around his vision as the waves smashed him back against the rocks once more. He did his best to shake it off as the cry from his lungs pleaded with him to move. To get oxygen.

He pushed off the cliff side with all his might; hands and feet scraped by the harsh surface so that the saltwater could sting them. It was worth it for the sweet taste of air as he broke the surface of the water.

The man gasped and sputtered. Trying to get as much air into his lungs as possible before he would have to try and swim back to the beach. At least, that had been the plan.

Something below the surface of the wild waves had moved closer. Something had brushed against his leg. He tried to see but the darkness of the night, the movement of the water, and his own tired mind could not find anything to spot. He only got a clear lock on it when he felt something wrap tightly around his ankle.

Not a sound left him as the creature pulled Remus back under the waves. The ocean seeming to calm once the deed was done.

* * *

The mindscape, or palace as the twins insisted, was calm. Thomas was in bed reading a book that he had wanted to pick up for a few months, so the sides had the rest of the night free. Patton took this as an indication that they could all have a family dinner and game night. While met with different reactions from certain sides, Roman had jumped on board immediately.

He did not have to do much in terms of creative ideas while Thomas was focused on another’s creative work. This was how he found himself dancing around Patton in the warm kitchen as they finished up the final preparations for dinner.

“I think these biscuits are ready to go, Padre.”

Roman turned the oven off with a tap of a button and pulled on the oven mitts. The biscuits that he pulled out were golden brown. The heat the emitted did not stop Roman from reaching for one once he set the baking sheet down and pulled the mitts off.

Instead of a rewarding treat he found his arms full of plates and cutlery.

“Not yet they need to cool, my hungry prince,” Patton giggled. “Besides, don’t want to ruin the appetite so close to dinner time.”

“But Patton,” Roman pouted, “It is just one.”

“One that will burn your mouth like last time,” Patton moved to stir the mac and cheese.

“It was not that bad.”

Patton sighed and shook his head in fondness at the impatience of the creative side.

“Alright, how about this, you can have one as soon as you finish setting the table for me.”

Roman stood up straighter and hugged the tableware he had been handed, “Promise?”

“Promise.”

Roman grinned brightly and rushed to get out of the kitchen, “I am holding you to that, Pat!”

A quest was obtained and Roman was determined to do his best job at it. His goal in sight, the tasty treat that he would get to eat before dinner even began. Maybe if he was lucky, he could sneak some of the Wild Berry Crofters onto it before Logan came downstairs.

He hummed a tune to himself as he placed all the plates in front of every chair. Cloth napkins appeared out of thin air, folded into swans at the flick of a wrist, before they landed gently on each plate.

The last napkin swan had just touched down onto the shiny surface of the plate when a sudden feeling of panic seized him. The cups and silverware fell to the ground as the usually put together prince braced himself onto the nearest chair. He clutched at the front of his uniform as the pain seemed to only grow, centering on his chest.

Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. He had to do something and yet, he felt frozen. Frozen and doubled over in the dining room; stuck in place to stare down at his shoes.

Something was wrong.

“-man?”

_Something is wrong._

“Roman!”

He distantly heard a voice calling his name.

“Something is wrong,” he mumbled the words to himself under his breath.

“Roman, what is wrong? Are you okay?”

The warm hand that touched him freed him from the spell of terror, but he only became more worried as the pain turned into simply a dull throb. A dying memory, a dying force, buried deep within him.

Patton looked at him with worried eyes behind his glasses; obviously trying to find a physical injury on the side before him.

“What happened? Did you stab yourself with one of the steak knives?”

Roman gently moved Patton’s hands off him and rushed towards the stairs.

_Something is wrong. Something is wrong._

“Roman!?!” Patton was at his heels. “Roman, please, tell me what happened? You’re worrying me.”

“I’m fine,” Roman insisted as he pushed into his bedroom. He nimbly jumped over his brother’s mess so he could get to the wall of weapons that was situated on his brother’s side of the room. “But I think I am going to be late for dinner.”

Roman picked up a net, his sword, and then hesitantly grabbed Remus’ morning star.

“What…what do you mean you are going to miss dinner?” Roman turned to find Patton standing in the doorway, a scared look on his face.

“I’m fine, Patton,” he tried to give a reassuring smile, but it fell flat. “But…But Remus isn’t.”

The dull ache in his chest told him he could not delay. Could not wait for Patton to question him more on specifics. The longer he stood there and did nothing the more likely it was that Thomas would lose half of his creativity; that he would lose his brother.

Roman only paused his rush to get out of the room to give Patton a quick hug. The morning star slung over his shoulder, his sword strapped to his belt, and a small hope. A small hope that moved him fast out the door and towards the imagination.

That he could get to his brother in time.


	2. The Sound of Silence (and waves)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sea. Surf. And Sand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: 
> 
> Drowning, talk of eggs in corpses, talk of dying, self deprecation

The smell of salt and the crash of waves hit Roman as he stepped out into the cool night of the imagination. The usual kingdom and rolling hills that he usually was greeted with had been changed. No longer did the prince look out upon his city capital where skyscrapers and flying cars merged with horses and fairies.

The door shut behind him and he turned to stare at it. It was a dark, unfinished wood. Despite the aging the metal hinges seemed to be well kept. The door was at the base of a tall dark tower that was attached to a smaller, but still intimidating castle. All a black stone that seemed to glow in the light of the full moon.

Remus’ castle. Remus’ Duchy.

The Imagination had not felt the need to shift over to where Roman rightfully belonged when he entered. This was alarming.

Contemplation was no longer needed as he moved forward. The weed covered stone of the courtyard were crunched under his quick strides. The gates opened with a low and ominous whine that would have scared anyone unfamiliar with Remus’ more spooky melodrama.

To Roman, the sound was just a reminder that his brother’s domain was at least functioning as it should still.

“Remus!?!” He called out above the sound of the waves as he started down the gravel path. They were all that answered as he moved down to the water.

“Remus, where are you!?!”

Red eyes glanced out from the shadows and Roman moved a little faster. His palm sweated against the morning star’s handle. Whatever stared out at him would not be any help in the location of Remus.

“Remus!” The sound of waves got closer and with it came the worrisome idea that the crashing would drown out his calls. How would Remus be able to hear him over all this noise?

How did he even know he was going in the right direction?

Roman grounded his teeth together as the path dipped down onto the sandy shore of the beach. At this moment he loathed his brother’s artistic choice to have a beach front, rural society instead of a metropolis to govern. At least there would be a helpful construct to assist him. Not a wild beast that was made to attack any and all moving creatures.

“Duke Stinky-Butt! Show your face or so help me if I find you dead, I will bring you back and kill you myself!”

The morning star landed on the soft sand with a dull thus as he looked around. The beach alone seemed to stretch for miles. The moonlight only did so much to help him see the dark world that his brother’s mind had conjured.

“Remus please,” he would never admit that it was a quiet plea to the air. For someone to listen and help him. 

He grabbed the morning star’s handle and started to drag it along the beach. An outline started to form as he walked slowly up the landscape. He stayed away from the dark waves for now. Every crash onto the shore seemed to be the ocean reaching out a claw to take him. Take him down into who knows where.

It was ominous.

He called Remus’ names a few times. Loud over the waves and echoing off the nearby cliffs. There was never the response he wanted.

No nickname.

No feeble cough.

No sudden appearance behind his back.

No tackle.

Nothing but surf and sea salt.

“Why couldn’t this be simple? Like break your arm falling from a tree.”

“Don’ think anything about this sit’u’ation is simple, sonny.”

The grizzled voice made Princey jump out of his musings and move quickly to stand guard. The morning star was left on the ground in favor for the side to pull out his sword. At the end of the point stood an old man, skin turned practically to leather by the ocean, and lips wrapped around an old pipe.

How cheesy could his twin be?

“Who are you? State your purpose,” Roman demanded.

“Could ask ye the same, boy,” the man bit back, “This is my beach to look ‘fter for His Royal Highness.”

He used the pipe to point back in the direction that Roman had come, most likely at the distant silhouette of the tower. Roman glanced in the direction for only a second before his eyes returned to the older gentleman in front of him. His sword did not waver. The dull ache in his chest pushed him forward.

“I see,” Roman said the words slowly, “Then you should have no reason to object in telling me the location of the Duke.”

The man’s pipe returned to his mouth and some smoke rings slowly came up and floated into the air.

“I ain’t tellin’ you nothin’. Ye could be some kind of killer types.”

Roman slowly let the sword point lower but he kept his grip tight. Nothing could be trusted to be as it seemed in Remus’ Duchy.

“I can assure you, I am the last person to ever wish ill will onto him,” He gave a small bow, “I am Prince Roman, and I have reason to believe that my brother, the Duke, is in grave danger. I would much appreciate your assistance in pointing me to his last location.”

He tried to watch the construct’s expression, but it seemed impossible. The tough weathered skin was folded into many lines. The darkness of the night kept him in shadows. And the eyes. Roman could not find a twinkle in them, or an indication that there even were any in the sockets.

That would explain why he had saw a large centipede move over the man’s nose and then disappear.

The prince had to push down a terrified shiver at the thought. He did not need to once again be disgusted at his brother’s creations when this old sailor was tame. That and Remus always did have trouble drawing eyes, would make sense that he would just omit them from creations all together.

Unless they were unattached.

Roman’s spiraling thoughts were broken as the old man slowly opened his mouth to speak. The pipe somehow stayed balanced on his bottom lip.

“My apologies, yer highness, I did not recognize ya’.”

“It is quite alright. Now my brother?”

“Yes,” The man seemed to think for a second, “Well, ter be honest, he was right there where you were standin’ earlier today.”

Roman looked down and then around at the beach. A lighthouse was on top of a high cliff face that ended the stretch of sand abruptly. The structure itself cast an earie green glow over the ocean and every so often it flicked. He had to guess that is where the old man had come from.

“He was?”

The man nodded and blew a few rings before he spoke again.

“Yep. Said he was on his way to his ‘secret project’ on the cliffs,” he used the pipe to point, “Real excited. Good to see young men happy ‘bout somethin’.”

“When was this?”

“’bout sunset, I’d say.”

Sunset. Roman put a hand to his chest. The sun had only fully hidden away behind the tree’s minutes before the first wave of pain. He was close.

“Thank you,” Roman breathed the words, “Thank you so much.”

He pushed the sword back into his sheath and started to move towards the cliffs in a hurry. Hoping that his brother had not fallen and gotten impaled.

“Be careful, sonny!” The old man shouted after him, “The waters ain’t safe at this hour.”

Roman’s advancement slowed. Confusion and fear clutched at the aching numbness in his chest.

“What do you-?” Roman turned to face the sailor again but his question stopped when he found he was alone on the beach. Alone with just a vague warning and a sinking feeling in his gut.

* * *

Water.

Water everywhere. In his lungs, on his skin, in his underwear.

He would have laughed at the stupid line if he was not so tired. His body felt heavy and weightless at the same time. Like he could sleep for days.

Honestly, Remus was not even sure how he was conscious.

He considered the idea that this was an out of body experience. That this is the slow crawl of death coming to claim him.

He had always said he wanted to greet the Grim Reaper first and express how much he loved the guy’s work. Guess his conscious mind was giving him what he wanted. A chance to meet his hero.

He could have sworn Deceit told him that meeting Hero’s was a bad idea.

Deceit told him a lot of his ideas were bad ideas.

Remus missed him. He missed Virgil too. And Logan. And Patton, kinda. And…and his brother. He hoped Roman was not beating himself up over this. Whatever _this_ was, that is.

Something moved out of the corner of his eye, but he could not gain the energy to care or look. Probably a friend of the creature that currently had a tight grasp on his ankle. A grasp had had failed to break out of when he was closer to the surface. It was probably just waiting for him to finally succumb to drowning before it began to consume his fresh corpse.

Or lay its eggs into him.

Or both. That would be cool. Would that make him a father?

_“Man_,” he thought, _“I’m not ready for kids.”_

His eyes, already blurry from the stinging salt, began to show him darkness. He was not sure if the creature had just pulled him that deep or if this was it. Either way, he did not fight it. The exhaustion pulled at his very soul.

Remus let his eyes close as the last bubble of air left his lips.


	3. But My Hope Will Never Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman makes his way to the cliffs hoping to discover what happened to his brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a little shorter. 
> 
> Warnings:   
Talk of Falling, Impaling, death, difficult choices. Tell me if I should add anymore!

Wet sand crunched under his boots as he hurried across the shore. The small grains stuck to the leather surface and turned it into a splatter of different colors. The full moon shone down on the water as the green waves turned the leather of the boots from a warm brown to something darker. Clouds had started to gather in the horizon; a silent threat of a storm to come partnered with the grasps of the waves that seemed to want him to fall under its grasp.

Against his better judgement he moved further into the water toward the cliff face. Sea water lapped around his ankles in a siren song to pull him deeper. He let the morning star he carried rest against the rocky wall and adjusted his sword. He shaky breath escaped his lips as he reached up to let his hand find a stable hold. Cold algae dug under his fingernails and sent an unpleasant shiver down his spine.

He fought through the unpleasant feeling and pulled himself up with a small grunt. He moved up slowly as his hands searched blindly for purchase against the slick surface of the rock face. The climb became harder the further he moved up: fearful to fail and to fall back down onto the hard stone below. The storm on the horizon seemed to move closer to obscure the moonlight. If it was not for the obvious smoothness, he might have missed the ledge that would be his saving grace.

With a quiet grunt, he pulled himself up onto the ledge and let himself rest against the cold stone. The space was tight and barely had enough room for him to stand comfortable without the needed support of the rock wall behind him. Drops of water soaked into the white cloth of his uniform.

After a few seconds of rest he began to move again. Boot covered feet carefully inched him along the ledge’s path. Each step careful and experimental so not to fall below onto the rocky ocean that now stretched out below him. He spared a glance down and found himself mesmerized by the waves that seemed to reach up to claim him but always fell short.

His gut was tied in nots as ‘What Ifs’ began to flood his mind. With a shake of the head he pushed them back and kept up his slow journey around the cliff. Twenty minutes passed before he found himself at the end of the natural path that had been his saving grace.

A small leap ahead of him, over a large gorge that could spell doom for any, was a larger ledge. It’s surface smooth enough and wide enough for a person to comfortable stand on. The cliff face that it was attached to was wide open to show a cave lit in a dying green light.

He steadied himself on the ledge he stood on and took a breath before he jumped.

He landed nearly on the edge. His arms waved for balance before he tipped over onto the wet and rough surface with a thump. His heart hammered loudly in his chest as the adrenaline and fear abided. He pushed himself back to his feet and looked around.

The cave seemed to react to his presence. The green torches, once of dying light, sparked back to life in a new hue of red flames. The fire’s dance illuminated the sparkling water droplets on the ceiling of the deep path. Near the entrance, forgotten, lay a bag made of black leather and with a golden clasp.

“Remus,” he spoke his brother’s name in a whisper as if in disbelief. The old man had been right. His brother had been up on these cliffs.

Roman slipped the bag’s strap over his shoulder and cupped his hands around his mouth.

“Remus!?!” He shouted the name and listened as it echoed down the cave’s gaping maw.

There was no response.

The sky seemed to get darker. The light of the full moon now almost extinguished by the darkened clouds. He was running out of time.

“Remus, where are you!?!”

Hesitant steps moved away from the cave entrance and towards the edge of the ledge to look down. Down at the churning ocean. Down at the spiked rocked that threatened to impale any creature that had the misfortune to fall. Down into the mysterious darkness of the ocean that the twins had shared creation of but knew little about.

A question, more of a terrible fear, wondered if Remus had been the unfortunate brother to find out what truly lived below the waves.

“Remus?” He did not know why he said the name down to the waves in a question. He knew they would not respond.

An irrational part of the prince wanted his brother to just pop up from the water or behind him. To chase away this terrible probability. That his brother had fallen. _That there would be no way to-._

Roman forced his eyes away from the long drop down into the ocean and turned back to the cave.

The old sailor had told him that his brother had been working on a surprise. It would not be a shock to the prince that the surprise had turned on Remus. That his brother was merely a victim of another one of his own uncontrollable creations. Something easily found and slain. Probably another giant spider of a minotaur-taur.

Two options. Two terrible options on the fate of his brother. If he chose poorly Remus’ life would most likely be sacrificed because of his own stupidity.

“Come on, Roman, think,” Indecision was also not an option. The feeling in his chest was only becoming colder and number.

“Think, you stupid prince, think!” He looked around the surface. Thunder rumbled overhead as if to emphasis how much time he did not have.

“All I have is a bag, a cave, and a terrible fall into the mysterious ocean.” He looked up at the sky as the first drops of rain began to fall, “I have no proof that Remus fell down.”

He looked around to make sure. The surface of the rock was barren. All Roman had was the bag that he found near the mouth of the cave, a hunch, and the terrible feeling in his chest that spoke volumes.

Rain began to fall faster as he drew his sword from the sheathe. Lightning flashed behind him as he made his decision.

Roman could not delay any longer.

“I’m coming Remus.”

An unspoken _hopefully_ ended that statement as he moved forward into the mysterious cave of his brother’s own design. Mentally he wished upon a star that this was the right choice.

The torches’ fire licked at the ceiling as he moved past the cave’s mouth. He only it made it a few steps before the mouth of the cave closed. With a dull thud that echoed off the walls it sealed his decision as final.

* * *

Three people sat at the dining room table.

There was a place set that was untouched. A napkin folded in the form of a swan sat on the porcelain plate. Watching the company that ate around it.

At the head of the table Patton sat. Every so often a worried gaze would be thrown to the doorway he had watched Roman disappear into. Every glance sent a message of disappointment when the door never opened.

“He will be back soon, Patton,” Logan stated. He sat directly across from the moral side. His meal was halfway done already. “These spur of the moment adventures never last too long.”

“I know, Lo, but you didn’t see his face. He looked so scared.”

“It will be fine.”

The third member of the table said nothing. His face hidden in the shadow of his hoodie as he picked at a biscuit. The rest of his meal stayed mostly untouched. Every so often a nervous gaze would look at the empty seat in front of him before the eyes would move back down to his lap where his phone was held out of view.

The talk of the other two sides was drowned out as he looked down at three text messages from a number, he never got around to blocking. He had read them repeatedly since he sat down at dinner. Worrying causing him to lose his appetite.

They simply read:

**“Remus is missing.”**

**“Something is wrong"**

**“Is Roman there?”**

With one last glance up at the empty chair, Virgil slowly typed a reply. He hit send with only a moment of hesitation. 

**“No.”**


	4. I Bet My Life on You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman realizes he chose poorly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:   
Description of heart exploding, falling, blood, sadness

The passage seemed to continue into the cliff for miles. The torches were the only object over color besides the bland stone. The light that they gave off was barely enough to see where to step. Despite the lack of vision, Roman moved down the never-ending hall as fast as he dared. His hand was tightly wrapped around his sword’s hilt.

The click of his boots’ heels echoed around him in a steady rhythm with his heart.

This was too bland to be Remus’ creation. It was incomplete. The walls were rough, the torches a mere stand in for a better lighting system. The floor seemed to be the only part finished and even than the stone was a little bland.

But Roman did not dare to call out. If something dangerous was down here, something so dangerous that even his brother could not contain, then his footsteps would be enough of a sign to where he was.

The time seemed to crawl agonizingly slow. Every perceived second taken seemed to make the numbness in his chest grow tighter. His heart felt constricted by tight rope which could not be pulled tighter, yet the universe continued to do so. Eventually the heart would succumb. The pain would come back as the heart was severed by the dull bonds of the rope and splattered in different directions.

_“Wouldn’t that be fun to watch? A firework of blood!”_

Roman shook his head at the thought. A thought that sounded too much like his brother. That only made his chest ache more.

“Shut up, Remus,” he whispered allowed and set his gaze firmly forward once more.

He did not allow himself to contemplate the ache in his chest any longer. He counted every step under his breath to stay focused on moving forward and stay out of his own mind.

At the 3,542nd step, a number that seemed to take eternity, Roman found himself faced with grand entrance. The doors were two different colors, one a light birch and the other a dark oak. Elaborate carvings decorated the wood and were glossed over with a fine finish. Roman moved forward cautiously to look closer and almost stepped back in shock.

The birch door depicted scenes of knights, unicorns, castles and dragons. Flying cars and superheroes. Stories that Roman knew so well because he had imagined them. He had played them out. He had given them to Thomas as wonderful dreams. The center of the door had a stage carved out and at the center stood a small figure, dressed as a prince, with a crown upon his head. Gold foil made the crown shine.

His eyes moved to the darker door. Knights and dragons and castles dotted the scenes here but so did a darker theme. Demons, ocean monsters, and cryptids, and slightly more gory battlers were shown in the intricate carvings. Nightmares and scenes that Remus had created and played out. At the center was another stage where a figure sat instead of stood. A silver foiled crown sat on his head as his legs dangled over into the orchestra pit.

Where the doors met a symbol was formed. A shield and sword, decorated with emeralds and rubies, only broken by the seam.

A surprise.

Roman’s head went back to that fact. The old man had said that Remus had been working on a surprise.

The doors, beautiful as they were, could very well hide a terrible scene behind them. Something horrifying in many ways.

The prince took a breath and stepped back to look at the doors for a handle but found none. He pushed on the wood, but the doors would not budge.

“Remus? Let me in!” He knocked loudly on the wood. The sound echoed back up the cavern he had entered from.

Roman only waited a couple moments before decided to try and ram into the doors to force them open.

The pain in his shoulder was not worth the pain to his ego for thinking that the plan would work.

“Stupid door,” he grumbled and glared at it. His eyes landed on the center piece. His cunning plan to ram the door open with his shoulder had knocked two gems in the center of the shield out of place.

The red one on the birch door had fallen sideways and the green in the dark oak looked ready to fall out. Careful fingers pulled them from the wood with ease. He looked them over curiously before he moved.

He placed the emerald into the bird door and the ruby into the dark oak. As the last stone was placed the door seemed to come to life. The little figures on the stages moved. Their heads turned to look at one another. The one that had been sat on the edge of his stage got up and waved.

Roman waved back unsure that he had done the right thing.

The two seemed to think he had as they moved behind the carved image of the curtains. A second later a lock clicked, and the doors slowly swung open.

The room beyond the doors was simple as it was amazing. An obvious unfinished project that was still being continued. Directly across from the entrance where Roman stood was another pair of mismatched doors. This pair was simply laid against a wall that had been marked with a red spray paint x.

Rain fell into the room from a perfectly round hole in the ceiling. It landed in a small pond and sent ripples across the blue water. A carpet of moss surrounded it. The walls of this room were painted or sketched on. Scenes of ocean creatures and dragons and forests pulled at Roman’s soul for him to admire and complete. Paint cans and other odds were nearby ready to be used.

But Roman could not focus on that. He stepped fully in to make sure he was correct.

Despite all the amazement that had been discovered his brother was not in this hidden room. There was no where that he could hide either as it was still rather barren.

“Remus?”

Maybe if he just said Remus’ name the other would jump out from nowhere. Come and tell him off for ruining a secret project. A project that Roman was already in love with.

Roman did not want to be wrong. He did not want to think that he had made the wrong choice.

Desperation and adrenaline filled his veins as he rushed around the room. He looked behind any corner; investigated the water of the pond. He moved the doors that had yet to be installed to see if his brother had hid behind there to scare him.

Ever spot turned up empty. Every time he did not find him, he felt his will breaking more. Tears began to fall from his eyes as reality sank into his numbed chest.

“Remus!” His call echoed back around the room as he rushed back out through the doors.

His chest was on fire as he ran up the cavern. The long stretch now felt longer as a new, horrible reality pushed him upwards.

He was wrong.

His brother was not here.

He was wrong.

Remus was dying and he wasted time.

He was wrong.

He was wrong.

He was **wrong**.

Roman’s lungs screamed for air as he got to the top of the hall where the cliff’s wall had closed behind him. A wave of his hand pushed the imagination to simply make a hole large enough for him to run through. The prince did not have the time to worry about how his brother intended this place to work.

His boots skidded on the wet platform that had once housed the wet bag that was slung around him. The storm poured down onto his from. The white uniform stuck to his body tightly. The toes of his boots were right off the edge and he looked down at the raging sea.

Thunder boomed and shook him.

He felt himself lose his balance.

The prince tipped over the edge. The rain seemed to pelt at his form as he began to fall. He reached out a hand towards the cliff face he had once stood atop of. He felt the first layers of skin become scraped off as he tried to get purchase.

A jolt of pain went down his arm as he finally found a hold and stopped his fall. He held onto the rock tightly. The rain and blood on his hand made it slippery. His arm ached from the sudden stop he had taken.

He took a second to breath before he swung the opposite arm to get another hold on the rocks. The rain plastered his hair to his face as he began to carefully search for a way back up. He did not have time to die in the ocean. He did not have time to hope for someone to save him.

He did not have time to give up.

So he climbed.

* * *

The sound of a loud bang woke Patton up from where he had been dozing on the living room couch. Beyond the front door a storm raged, and the wind howled. The flash of lightening illuminated the man who had opened the door with such force.

Roman’s white uniform was stained with dirt and grit. His red sash was now tied around his waist. The usually manicured hair was plastered to his face which looked tired, pale, and distraught. The door closed behind him and the room went silent. The simple door to the imagination blocked out the terror of nature beyond it.

Water dripped onto the floor as the Prince moved quickly towards the stairs. He did not glance once at Patton.

“Roman!” Patton jumped to his feet to follow, “You’re back! I was getting so worried. I saved you three biscuits, since I promised you one before dinner, but you never got to eat it.”

He reached out and grabbed the soaked sleeve. Roman’s stopped with one foot on the bottom step.

“I put your dinner in the microwave. You want me to heat it up wile you change into something comfortable?”

Roman said something. Words mumbled and quiet.

“What was that, kiddo?”

“I didn’t find him.”

Roman pulled his arm from the loose grip on the sleeve and started his journey up the stairs once again.

“Oh,” Patton paused before he moved to follow, “Well, I am sure he is okay. You…you can look for him again once the storm is over. So I’ll go heat up your dinner and-.”

“I’m not hungry,” Roman opened the door to his room, “And I am not staying long.”

“What do you mean? Roman, you were gone for hours and now it looks like it is storming in there. You haven’t eaten since lunch time.”

“I can’t just leave him Pat!” Roman turned and looked out of the doorway at Morality. The soft glow of the room seemed to darken. “I can’t just let this go.”

He placed a hand on his chest over his heart. “I feel him. I know he is alright, but I don’t know how long that will be true. Thomas cannot lose a part of himself…even if it is half of a part.”

“Roman,” Patton stepped into the room, “I am not saying you should give up on him, but you need rest.”

“I don’t have time for rest. I messed up in my choice before and I do not plan on doing it again. He is out there.”

Roman dodged Patton’s hug as he moved to dig through a mess of clothes in a corner. Black shirts, torn rags, and one pink crop top were pushed to side before Roman pulled out what he needed. A small pendant with a green crystal held by what looked to be a silver dragon’s claw. It hung on a simple black string.

“I’ll be back. Don’t wait up for me.”

The prince moved out of the room with a purpose. The soaked boots left a clear trail back down.

“When will you be back?” Patton called from upstairs, “You need a break, Roman! You can continue the search in the morning! Or when the storm passes!”

All he got in reply was the slam of a door.


	5. Can't Stop the Feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three Months have passed. Roman is not taking it well

The only sound in the living room was the slow tick-tock of the clock. Patton sat on the couch, his knees pulled up to his chest and a mug held between two cupped hands. The steam was slowly clouding his glasses, but he did not seem to care. Just savoring the warmth. 

Lost in thought, the moral side was startled back to the world when a gentle hand touched his shoulder. Some hot chocolate went over the rim of the cup and slowly slid down the side.

“Sorry Pat, didn’t mean to spook you.”

“It’s okay, ki-Virgil,” Pat chuckles but the sound is a little dry.

Carefully the mug is sat down on the coffee table and he took his glasses off to wipe away the steam. The couch dipped as Virgil took a seat beside him.

“You want to take a break? Get some sleep maybe?” Virgil picked nervously at the skin under his thumbnail, “I’m used to staying up and worrying so if you need a nap-.”

“Virgil,” Patton placed a hand on the other side’s knee, “I’m okay. I don’t need a break.”

He looked to the door he had been watching before he zoned out. The white paint had started to peel. The gold accents were dull.

“I just wish I knew what to do for him. He’s barely around the mindscape anymore and when he is he just goes to his room and runs back out again,” a few tears began to form, “I don’t know if he is eating or sleeping. Or if I will see him again once he goes back in there.”

Patton sniffled and tried to hold back the tears. The fight was futile when the anxious side pulled him close.

“I know. I know Pat. I wish there was an easy answer to this.”

Patton hugged back; his face buried in the softness of Virgil’s hoodie.

“Perhaps there is.”

Virgil tensed at the new voice and Patton tried to wipe his tears away before he looked to the entrance to the hallway.

Logan stood there, his hands behind his back.

“What do you mean? Every attempt to talk to Roman has just been a fight or him ignoring us,” Virgil said.

Logan moved forward into the room, “We must force him to listen.”

“No,” Patton whined, “He just needs to figure it out himself is all.”

“He is simply in the stage of denial,” Logan countered, “It will be better if we ground him and help him move into the next stages so he can accept what has occurred.”

Virgil rolled his eyes, “Yeah, lets bring reality to Creativity. Like that has worked before.”

“Would you rather he continue this delusion?” Logan asked, “that we simply watch as himself and Thomas rot away without any other goal in mind.”

Virgil shrank back and held Patton tighter, “No.”

“I don’t think this is a good idea, Lo. It might be too soon,” Patton glanced at the door again before he looked to his friend, “We might make things worse.”

“It has been three months, four days, ten hours, thirty minutes, and 54 seconds since the very event that started this occurred. I believe now is as good a time as any to tell Roman the truth.”

“Or we let him burn himself out,” Virgil suggested, “Ro is a blockhead sometimes, but he isn’t dumb. He’s got to know, right?”

Patton’s head moved in time with the two discussing. Too torn between the two points to give his own opinion.

Logan sighed and moved so he could sit in the armchair next to the couch. His elbows rested on his knees so he could perch his chin on his hands.

“Sometimes knowing it and hearing it are two different things, Virgil. I believe that we have put this off too long. Roman needs to hear that Remus is not coming back.”

“You’re wrong.”

Three heads turned to the door to the imagination. Roman had changed in the three months of endless searching.

His hair was messier, no longer neatly styled. He had not allowed himself to shave, the scraggly signs of a beard had formed. The once stunningly white costume was grey, almost black, from the dirt that stained it. The red sash had vanished. His eyes were circled by large bags, sunken in and gaunt.

It was hard to believe this was the prince.

Logan stood up to his full height, back straight and ready for any confrontation that could occur.

“Roman, was impeccable timing. We were just discussing-.”

The door to the imagination was slammed shut behind Roman, “I know what you were discussing, and you are wrong.”

Logan linked his hands together in front of his body to show he was not looking for a fight.

“I know it is hard to understand, Roman, but you must come to terms with the fact that Remus is-.”

“Don’t you say another word,” Roman growled.

Logan did not hesitate, “is gone. Once again part of the subconscious most likely. This endless searching and denial-.”

“YOU’RE WRONG!” Roman yelled over the words and Logan faltered.

The pause of the logical side’s words was met with a prince that stormed up to him. Almost nose to nose. Logan stared into red eyes, usually a reddish brown but now fully encompassed by the color the prince represented.

“I still feel him. Right here,” he poked Logan’s chest none too gently, “He is out there somewhere. He is still alive, and I will be damned by God or whoever cares about facets like us if I am not the one that brings him home.”

Logan remained impassive, “I see. You are working off intuition. I can assure you that the aching feeling you may feel is just an illusory correlation. It is not a sign that your brother is still with us but simply grief that you are avoiding.”

“You say he is dead one more time I will cut off your arms and smack you with them,” Roman hissed through his teeth.

“Roman!” Patton gasped. The whole argument he had been silent. Too stunned with the sudden appearance of the very person he had been sat waiting for. The words that left the prince’s mouth startled him back to reality.

The prince’s head snapped to the other two and then he looked back at Logan.

“He started it, Pat! Coming in here and trying to turn you all against me! I know he is alive; I feel it!”

Roman took a small step back away from Logan and fully faced the two on the couch. Virgil looked away quickly. Patton’s face was almost as black as Logan’s except that tears pooled in the corners of his eyes. As well as a look of sad determination.

Logan opened his mouth to counter, but Patton beat him to it.

Morality stood up, out of Virgil’s hold, and calmly moved to place two hands on Roman’s arms. Firm yet gentle. An iron grip that felt as soft as kitten paws.

“Sometimes what you feel and what you know are two different things, Ro,” he said softly.

Roman looked like Patton had just stabbed him through the stomach with his own sword. The prince stepped back and broke the hold Pat had one his arms.

“No.”

“Kiddo, I have watched you run in and out of that door for three months. I have hoped everyday that you would return happy and successful but,” Patton took a beat to make sure his voice was steady, “Sometimes people in our lives, people we love, leave us-.”

Roman took another step back when Patton tried to get him back into his arms, “No.”

“They leave us before we are ready. It doesn’t make sense.”

“No, stop it!”

“It hurts a whole lot. You want to bring them back; to turn back the clock but you can’t. Time doesn’t move backwards.”

Roman stumbled back further and his knees the back of the final chair in the room. He looked at Patton and then at Logan; eyes wide in fear. Pat stayed a step away to give Roman some space.

Then Roman’s eyes landed on Virgil. Hope, desperate home, lighted up those tired eyes. Patton did not have a chance to stop him as the prince rushed towards Anxiety. He fell to his knees in front of the couch and grabbed Virgil’s hand.

“Virgil, dark stormy knight, you got to believe me. You knew my brother; you know he would not just vanish without some kind of...of…of epic death. He’s still out there. He’s not…not...”

Patton let a few tears fall hearing the desperate words of his friend. His eyes met Virgil’s, who looked at him with fear and uncertainty on what he should say. He gave a watery sad smile and a small nod. Silent encouragement for his friend to do the right thing for Roman.

“He’s dead, Roman,” Virgil got out. His voice monotone but his free hand shook.

Roman let go of the hand like he had been burned and stumbled to his feet.

“You’re just saying that for them,” Roman shot back lamely, “Virgil please.”

Virgil looked down at his lap and shook his head no. His fingers nervously picked at a loose thread on his jeans.

Roman looked around the living room. The look on his face made Patton want to burst into tears and hold him close. He knew that Roman would not let him do that after he had laid down such a truth.

“You’re all wrong. He isn’t dead!”

“Roman, pumpkin, please,” Patton reached out a hand for the prince but found it smacked away.

“No! No you are all wrong! You all just never liked him and want me to let him rot!” Roman’s face split into a grin but it looked more like a grimace. Tears had started to form in his eyes, “Well jokes on you! I am not going to give up on my brother like you all did long ago! I’m going to find him and all of you are going to be-.”

“Roman enough.”

The room seemed to get colder as another figure stepped into the living room. Dressed in black and yellow. His hat was missing and revealed messy curls. The capelet gone.

Deceit looked tired. Drained.

“Deceit!” Roman turned fast and grabbed the dark side’s hand. He clutched the yellow glove like it was a lifeline, “Please, you got to believe me. You know he is out there somewhere.”

A sad look passed Deceit before he looked at the other three. Virgil gave him a glance before he looked away. Patton was nervous. Worried that whatever Deceit would say would break what little words that they had gotten through to Roman. Logan looked impassive. Expectant.

The free hand gently moved and cupped at Roman’s face before it slid down to rest on his shoulder. A sad expression cast a shadow across Deceit’s face.

“You know I cannot lie to you.”

Roman fell to his knees, the hand moved in time to let the mighty prince fall. Roman clutched the hand in his grip tightly, forehead rested against the back of it.

“Please…please tell me I’m right.”

Patton watched nervously as a gloved hand carded through Roman’s messy hair.

“You’re right,” Deceit said slowly. As if he did not want to say the words.

Roman burst into tears, “He…he can’t be gone. He can’t be.”

“I searched everywhere,” Deceit continued to move his hand through Roman’s hair, “Even places he never told you about. I’m sorry, Roman. I know you want to believe he is out there but…he is terrible at hide ‘n seek. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

His words were gentle. A surprising feat for someone so forceful in his manner of conversing with the other sides. He seemed to be schooling his face to not break down.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered the words.

The sound that escaped the prince’s mouth was one of pure anguish. Anguished and desperate for something to change the truth. Patton felt it in his soul and could not longer hold back the waterworks. Tears fell freely as he moved fast to collapse at Roman’s side. He hugged his friend tightly; the only idea he had to let Roman know that he was there and cared for him.

Slowly Virgil moved and sat next to Roman. He rubbed the prince’s back. Logan came next; he simply stood as a guard over the three on the floor. He watched silently as Deceit sunk down. Roman moved from just crushing his hand to crushing his body.

Four sides clustered around their fallen friend as he finally let the grief settle in.

* * *

The first thing he heard was the sound of something crashing. A rhythm that he could not help but find soothing. It called him to sleep but his body refused.

The next thing he felt was an ache in his limb and a pain in his head. Along with a cold, damp feeling all around him. The wet matched the sound he heard.

Then he tasted salt.

He opened his eyes and saw a bright light that made the pain in his head explode. He weak groan escaped his dry lips as he closed his eyes once again. The wet feeling crashed with a loud sound around him as he tried to turn away.

The air left his lungs and wet surrounded him.

The word _Ocean _echoed in his mind. The panic took over.

His eyes snapped open. The bright light did not bother him as he clumsily made it up the sand and away from the wet. Away from the crashing. Onto hot sand and air, which he gasped for desperately.

_“Air. Need Air. Need Air. Air. Air. AIR.”_

He coughed, the taste of salt only adding as it came out of his mouth violently. Onto the sand on which he lay. His stomach hurt, his limbs felt heavy, and now his throat burned.

Tears pricked at the corner of his eyes as he curled into a tight ball under the heat of the sun. The wet clothes he wore slowly began to dry.

_“Why does everything hurt so much?” _Came his first thought.

He let the waves, _“heh”_, of sickness ride themselves out. Every cough threatened to bring up more sea salty bile. Every turn of the stomach or pain from his head made him want to give into the darkness once more. If only he was not scared of that too.

The heat of the sun began to lessen as he finally felt up to uncurling from his ball. His body still ached and felt heavy, but it was a relief to crawl away from what his stomach had kicked up. He got himself up the beach and towards the edge of a wooded area. His body decided that was enough movement for the day and he laid there under the shade of the palm trees.

Tired eyes watched the waves and looked out at the endless blue of the ocean. He traced the line where the sky met the sea with his eyes.

“Where am I?” He spoke the words allowed; his voice rough from his first few moments of consciousness.

He looked down at himself. Bare feet were pruned from the saltwater. They stuck out of black pants which had one leg partially torn off. What confused him the most was the jacket, with sparkles and an eyeball and fake teeth, it all hung off him soaked in water. A green sash barely hung on.

It was weird. Very weird. With all this added weight, those sleeves were probably supposed to puff up, he was not sure how he had even been washed ashore.

The man was halfway through getting the jacket off before a thought struck him suddenly. The belt sat beside him in the sand now, the jacket undone but still rested on his shoulders. The white tank top under it stained and on top of that a red pendant rested on his chest.

He was frozen. Unsure if he could comprehend what he was thinking. Panic surged through him again as he looked at the sea and then back down on his person.

The fear of where he had ended up did not eclipse the fear of such a question as this:

“Who am I?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELP THAT IS THE END! BYE GUYS!  
HAHA
> 
> Nah I'm lying. Part two is in the works.


	6. Interlude: Since You Been Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dear Remus, 
> 
> This is what has happened since you been gone...
> 
> *
> 
> Sudden dea-disappearances are hard to cope with. Hopefully writing letters to his brother will help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Wasn't that fast? 
> 
> Welcome to one of the interlude chapters! YES! This story is not going to be separated into more stories for you to follow. All right here in a nice little bow. <3
> 
> Warnings: Some cursing, grief, death mention, angry outbursts, one dick mention, long note at the end you can ignore

_Dear Remus, _

Logan thinks that I should write to you.

Says it might help me ‘cope’. Whatever that means.

I don’t want to cope.

I don’t want to feel.

They say you are gone. That you are <strike>dead</strike> somewhere better.

I know they want me to believe it. I know how they watch me as I move out of our room and into the kitchen every so often.

They have given up, but I haven’t. As soon as I can I am running back into the imagination and starting up my search.

The dragon witch is working on a tracking spell. It is taking her longer because I need it to be long ranged. Using our pendants, well mine. I hope you will have yours or this plan is going to be a flop.

<strike>Just like most of them are. </strike>

I don’t know why I am writing all this down. Or how this will help.

I know that I am not actually sending these to you. If I was then I would be writing about how I am going to punch your face in for having me worried for so long. Or I would be going to where you are instead of sitting on your bed writing in this dumb journal.

Still it is nice to write the words down: I miss you.

Our room is too quiet with only me in here staying up till the ass crack of dawn. There is no one there to lecture me, no one there to wrestle me back to bed, no one there to ask me annoying questions at three am.

Although the lack of dirty laundry stink is an improvement. <strike>An improvement I did not think I would hate. </strike>

I know you are not reading this, but please come home soon.

* * *

_Dear Remus, _

It had been six months since you disappeared.

I think everyone else has given up hope of your return. I know that the others did not like you too much, but I thought they were just as hurt as I was when you were in pain. Maybe I was wrong.

I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore.

It has been three months since they blocked me from entering the imagination again. I thought by now they would have admitted that I was rested enough to return to the search.

I tried to go back in through the main door. Patton caught me and asked where I was going.

When I told him my intentions, he told me that is was not a good time. Led me away to help him in the kitchen.

I am not proud to say I ruined dinner out of spite. I was not hungry anyway.

You would have found it hilarious. The fire on the stove was not extreme but it reminded me a lot of that SpongeBob episode. Where he has to forget about everything that was not about fine dining and breathing.

You would have laughed.

We’d probably be up all night laughing about it.

I miss those kinds of nights. We haven’t had them in a long time.

When you get back, we are going to have a movie marathon. All your favorites.

I am getting a little too sentimental. Glad you are never going to read these.

Hope Logan isn’t reading these. They were his idea.

I need to hide my journal better.

* * *

_Dear Remus,_

It has been five months since you’ve been gone.

I guess I should do something worthwhile with these letters or entries or whatever this is. If I do allow you to read them then they might as well tell you what has been going on during your absence.

First, Deceit has been sleeping over sometimes. By sometimes I mean a lot. Hardly ever leaves.

I gave him my bed since I have been spending most of my nights in yours. I washed the sheets first though. You really need to stop eating in bed, I think I found a full cookie under your pillow. That is gross, bro. Gross and terrible that you never offered to share.

Anyway, I don’t mind Deceit spending the night. It is comforting to have another person in the room again. Makes our room feel less empty.

He doesn’t snore like you. He doesn’t wake me up or tell me to go to bed when it gets super late either. Actually it is really hard to get him to wake up. I learned to not listen to his promises of five more minutes after the third day.

Can’t trust a snake no matter how much their pleas for more sleeping time resonate with you. How badly you want to crawl under the covers and sleep the day away, you must resist.

Going along with Deceit sleeping over, it now seems Mr. Lyde is just a part of this family. Patton is less tense around him, though it is still taking some time. Virgil is not openly trying to fight him.

It is weird. I wish you could see this. Maybe you could figure out why the shift because I am at a loss.

Speaking of Virgil, he is my second point.

Virgil has been spending the evenings in our room. Just sits on your bed or my bed. Deceit, him, and I usually just do our own things quietly. Sometimes we watch a movie together.

I like the change, but I am also confused by it

Maybe they just don’t trust me to not run off to look for you once more.

They only delay the inevitable. I do not see what could go so poorly with speeding up your return.

Well, that is all I can think of. Going to draw a dick on Deceit’s head while he sleeps in honor of you.

* * *

_Dear Remus, _

Eight months since you disappeared.

Patton has suggested that I make my own room. It was not an unkind or ill meaning, but I still got defensive. I should not have yelled at him.

Or ran off instead of apologizing.

I’ll summon a puppy tonight. Make sure he knows I did not mean to explode like that.

I can’t say that having my own room would not be interesting. We did try that once in our teen years but that did not last long. Remember? You kept sneaking into my room at night. Really scared me.

Still have no idea how you crawled across the ceiling like that.

Thinking about it right now, though, I don’t think I want to know the answer.

More on the bedroom thing, I can’t leave. If I leave this bedroom, then Deceit will lose his roommate.

Oh! Should probably tell you that we have a new roommate. Don’t think you would mind. You always liked Dee. Saw how much of a dork he was behind all the hissing.

You were right, he is funny.

When you get back, I’ll make us our bunk beds again so Dee can keep my bed.

It’ll be fun. Like a sleep over every day.

We can even invite Virgil!

Or we just all live in one room together. Forever a sleepover!

Okay maybe that would not be a fun idea. Or was a very good idea.

I haven’t been sleeping well lately, so my ideas are a little bland. Sorry.

I am going to go apologize to Patton now.

Write to you soon.

* * *

_Remus, _

Where are you?

You have been gone almost ten months! A year is about to pass, and you are nowhere.

I expected you to be back by now.

Why do you keep doing this to me, Remus? Why can’t you stay put?

I don’t want you to be gone anymore.

* * *

_Remus, _

I went back into the imagination today.

It has been a year since you have been gone. Since I have stepped into that place. I was not supposed to be gone so long, but even after the others stopped trying to make me stay at home, I could not bring myself to go back in there.

The dragon witch was not very happy with me. She had the spell ready for so long and I showed up so late.

I have the pendant back now.

I stood on the cliff face where your old sailor man said he had seen you last. I looked out at the sea.

I wanted to throw it. Throw it out and let the waves take it away. Let this necklace be destroyed in my anger but I didn’t.

I didn’t recite the spell either. Please don’t be mad at me for that but I can’t.

I just can’t.

I know you are alive. I feel that you are alive, but what if…

What if you aren’t?

What if I say this spell and it points to nowhere? What if it is too late to even try it?

I don’t want to think that everyone else’s hopelessness has rubbed off on me but God dammit, Remus, it has been a year.

You should have been back by now.

Why aren’t you back? The only reason you wouldn’t be back is if they are all right.

* * *

_Remus,_

I am in a new room now.

Deceit has his own room next to Virgil now.

Our room is boarded off. I just couldn’t stay in there any longer.

Virgil let me borrow his white noise machine. It fills the silence. Going to have to get myself one.

* * *

_Remus, _

Wherever you are, if you are anywhere, I hope you are happy.

Things have gotten better for me. Not to say things are good that you are gone but that I am coping. Just like Logan was hoping would happen by writing these.

I still expect you to just pop up one day. Though the need to look for you around every corner has started to wane.

Thomas is back to work. His fans understood the need to have a vacation thankfully, but I feel guilty for making them wait so long. I have been focused one some amazing works for them, putting all my effort into them.

I do hope they like these new videos.

That is all I hope for, really.

Wish I could get your input on them. Most of your ideas don’t really go with the theme but you at least get me out of Disney safe territory.

I don’t know if I am going to continue writing to you. I don’t know if it really matters now. You won’t ever read these and even if you somehow did come back, I would never let you read them.

There is too much honest emotion. It’s gross.

I’d rather give you a letter that says ‘f--- you’ for leaving. Something that wouldn’t be all weird.

But, at the same time, if I stop writing in this letter/journal thing I feel like I am closing the door to you. That once I let these letters go and move on it will all become more real then it feels.

That you really will be gone.

I don’t want you to be gone. I don’t want to be the only creativity.

We both tried to pretend like we were the only true form of Thomas’ creative endeavors but we both knew it was not true. We were once one.

How am I supposed to do this job without literally the other half of my job?

If you are gone does that mean I won that stupid best creativity contest we were holding? Cause this is the worst way to win it.

But if this is the way it happens, then so be it. I will do my best to be the creativity that Thomas needs.

For you. For Thomas. And for myself.

Goodbye.

Your brother, Roman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am always scared with writing genuine affection between siblings, especially twins, because of certain corners of fandoms. I am sure none of you will comment about this kind of content but I still am nervous.   
So just stating: This is not RemRom. They are brothers. No incest ever.
> 
> Thank you. 
> 
> NOW ONTO HAPPIER THINGS!  
Like how many "Barbie as the Island Princess" songs I am going to listen to. ~A


	7. Interlude: Here On My Island

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little Island Prince Em is having the 'time of his life' alone without anyone to talk to and no real idea on who he is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. This is the last interlude and probably isn't my best work. 
> 
> I just wanted a small update on what Remus' time is like during the year where Roman is writing the 'letters'. Hope you like it. 
> 
> (Song from Barbie as the Island Princess)

Fish swam lazily around the tidepools that the low tide had abandoned them in. A few crabs scuttled around on the rocks. Snails stuck to the walls without much care.

A shadow above them blocked out the sun. The fish were not prepared for the sudden strike of a wooden spear.

“Oh I am eating good tonight!” The man who held the spear pulled his catch from the side pool. Two fish were stuck on the end. The last of their life drained but the hunter did not care. He simply moved away from the pool that had been their final resting place.

He jumped back onto the sand and hurried off towards the wooded area on the small island. The shade being a salvation from the harsh rays of the noon sun.

Not that Em knew it was noon. He did not even know what day it was or how long he had been here.

“Maybe I can find some of those berries I like for some added flavor,” he said aloud to the fish on his spear.

He glanced at the dead eyes of the fish and then spoke in a high-pitched voice out of the corner of his mouth, “Oh yes, Em! That sounds like an amazing idea.”

“Oh stop you are going to make me blush,” Em chuckled.

“We mean it, Em. You are the best cook in the whole island,” he made his food to say.

“I am the only cook on this island.”

“Exactly why you are the best!”

Em smiled wide before the smile dropped and he gave a sigh. He did not answer the puppet back. He did not even make it say something else. Instead the hunter stopped in front of a large tree and chucked the spear up into the leafy top. Then he began to climb.

He climbed up beyond the first layer branches to a crudely made platform. It was situated between two strong branches. Made together from sticks, vines, and dried palm leaves. The structure groaned as he pulled himself up onto it.

He sat on the edge and stared down. The fall would not hurt him, he could easily grab a branch if he fell, but an uneasy feeling swirled in his gut.

_He was falling. He couldn’t reach anything to stop it. _

_The rocks below were getting closer. The waves reaching out-._

He squeezed his eyes tightly closed and pushed himself back from the edge. His chest felt constricted like the snake from last week had come back to finish him off. His fingers dug into his shirt as he tried to take a few breaths.

_“In for four. Hold for seven. Out for eight. There you got is V-,” _His head hurt, his eyes watered, and he just focused on the words of the weird thought.

He found himself curled into a ball on his small platform focused on his breathing. The sound of the waves on the beach began to match his heartbeat.

“M-maybe I should have kept my shelter on the beach. Just didn’t want to get flooded again.”

He shivers at the more recent memory. Waking up to cold, salty water around him. In his mouth. In his clothes. In his lungs.

He counted out his breaths again. The wind in the trees and the distance sound of birds being an anchor to reality.

Em slowly opened his eyes and he looked around. The jacket he had first shown up with hung on a low branch. Some palm leaves made up a matt for him to sleep on. The spear with the fish laid close to the edge of the platform.

The hunger that had first motivated him back to the beach had practically fled. He just wanted to lay down on his leaves and sleep. His stomach protested.

“Alright. Alright.”

With a sigh, he pushed himself up onto his feet and moved over to the spear. Em snatched it up and moved as fast as he could away from the edge. He pulled the very dead fish off the spear and threw them into a stone bowl he had found.

As soon as they landed in the bowl the scales were gone, the head and tail missing, and they were ready to be cooked. Em had stopped questioning how this exactly worked or how it had shown up right when he needed it. He was just glad he did not have to do the scaling himself without a knife.

He started to hum to himself as he moved around the small structure. He picked up a few berries he had left over and squeezed them over the fish. He was not sure if this would taste good, but it would at least be better then bland fish.

A green fire started on a small stone disk he kept close. The resulting embers did not spread onto the dried flooring of the shelter. Another thing he had stopped questioning.

He set the bowl onto the fire and sat back to watch. Sometimes using a stick to push his dinner around so it would not burn.

Em watched the fire dully, his humming slowly evolving into a singing under his breath.

“Where is the land I come from?  
Who lives were I was born?  
Why do my memories start with a fall and a storm?”

He moved the bowl off the fire and the fire from the stone went out. He sat down against the trunk once more and set the bowl down to his side to cool. He moved the pendant around his neck to look at. The red stone glowed in the light of the lowering sun. The gold claw that held it to the necklace chain sparkled.

“What if I have a family,  
Somewhere beyond the sea,  
Could there be someone there missing me?”

Em let the stone fall back down onto his chest and stood. He pushed a few leaves away from the trunk. He chose this tree because it was still close enough to the ocean. The trees were sparser so he could still see the shore.

He stared at the horizon line. He had stared out at it for so long already, hoping that a sign would come to answer his questions:

Who was he?

Where did he come from?

Was anyone looking for him?

Where is home?

“Tell me why I’m not sleeping  
And my heart is leaping inside me  
Could this be one of those times when your feelings decide?

“I need to know these answers.  
I need to find my way.  
Seize my own tomorrow,  
Learn my yesterday.”

He let the leave bounce back into place and moved to sit back down on his make-shift matt. He picked at the fish but did not attempt to eat any of it. Only a small nibble every second or so. His thoughts would not let him focus on the hunger.

“I’m not unhappy,” he told the air, “I am very glad I survived whatever happened to me. I just wish I knew what and why it happened.”

He set the bowl down again and sighed.

“If this was a boat crash, wouldn’t there be others with me? Wouldn’t I have someone to answer my questions?”

The chirps of birds were all that answered. He did not expect anything else. 

_“Why do I feel so scared that I am alone?”_

He laid down on the matt, food forgotten, and let his eyes closed. His hands were wrapped tightly around the pendant. The cold stone slowly becoming warm.

“I don’t want to be alone.”

He had not meant to fall asleep. He just wanted to lay down and try and relax his thoughts. But the earlier stress had exhausted him. The whispered words trailing off as his breath slowed.

Between his palms the crystal glowed. A warm light that brought a smile to the sleeping man’s face.


	8. Chapter 6: Run.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It has been a year since Remus went missing.  
Roman wants to believe he has coped with the loss, but just as he is getting comfortable in his new life something just HAS to happen to bring back that terrible feeling of hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we go. Onto part 2!!
> 
> WOOP! WOOP! 
> 
> Warnings: Pushing, sadness, grief, Deceit being helpful and flirty and awesome and just amazing (this is not a warning I just want to gush about Dee)

Roman laid next to a pond, gazing down at the reflection of his face in the still water as he picked grass. His hair was a mess from the rolling race down the nearby hills. Mud stained his freckled cheeks. The white t-shirt he had put on was now a painting of grass and mud stains.

He crossed his eyes at himself and let out a small laugh before going back to his de-weeding. After the fourth blade of grass he stopped as the surface of the pond began to ripple. He sat up on his knees and leaned over. His reflection too muddled to see.

Then water hit his face. He fell back onto his butt.

“Ah! REMUS!”

He wiped at the water on his face so he could glare at the boy who sat in the pond. Wet hair was plastered over his eyes, a gap tooth smile adding to the high-pitched cackle. Some pond scum sat on his head and shoulders.

“You should have seen your face!”

Roman picked up some of his pulled grass and threw it at his brother weakly. Most of the blades were taken by the wind or just fell to the earth. One stuck to his brother’s upper lip.

“Thanks for the mustache, bro. Do I look regal now?”

Roman rolled his eyes, “Just get out of the pond, Em.”

“Not until you tell me my time.”

“Thirty seconds, just like the last time. Now come on.”

“So I didn’t beat my high score?”

“Nope. Don’t think you will. Logan said the average was 30 seconds.”

“Oh what does that nerd know? Thomas read that the world record was 19 minutes.”

“And you really think you are going to beat that?”

Remus scrambled up onto dry land and shook his head like a dog. Water and pond scum went everywhere. Roman’s protests to the action did not stop his twin.

“What was that for?”

“Questioning my abilities. At least I got a consolation prize that is better than my own twin’s lack of confidence in me.”

Roman paused wiping some pond scum off his shirt, “A consolation prize?”

Remus reached into his short pockets and pulled out a large, green frog. Said frog looked very happy to be out of the pocket but not so happy to still be in the grasp of the person that had taken it out of the pond.

“Remus, put him back.”

“No!” Remus pulled the frog to his chest, “I have already named him ‘Better Roman’.”

“Now that is just cold.”

“Like his little foot!”

Roman screamed as a slimy, cold forg foot was placed on his face. His brother had moved faster then he had liked to put it there. He smacked the hand that held the frog away from his face. The small action letting ‘Better Roman’ wiggle out of the child’s grasp and start towards the pond.

“No! Better Roman!”

Remus pushed Roman to get to his new pet faster.

He called out his brother’s name_ as his back hit the water._

* * *

Roman sat up in his bed with a start. His hair was soaked to his forehead and his hands shook as they gripped the blanket. The soft glow of his nightlight kept complete darkness from taking over his room. He could have sworn that the memory had changed into him falling back down those cliffs.

The very cliffs he was sure Remus had-.

He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair.

“Thought I was over this,” He closed his eyes tight, “It’s been a year. Why am I not over this?”

His hand reflexively moved to clutch at the pendant under his night-shirt. His heart still beat fast in his chest. Fear from a normal dream. A good memory, even.

He could remember himself sitting up and splashing water at his brother. Both getting into a mud fight. Falling into laughter.

A painful smile found its way onto Roman’s face as he refit the pieces into the memory once more. The smile did not stay. It fell back into an impassive frown as he once again opened his eyes and looked around the room.

He did not regret getting a new room but sometimes he missed the contrast. The old tape from their teenage years of trying to split the room in half. Remus’ black walls that were splattered with glow in the dark paint. His own neatly painted murals hidden under his 101 Disney posters.

Now he had a large bed that sat in the middle of the room. Now he had his own space. A ceiling he had painted himself. Walls he had carefully crafted. Posters that still needed to be put up.

But it was not as comforting in moments like this. Especially when it was slightly lit in a weird green light.

_“Wait, green light?”_

Roman looked down at his hand and found green light streaming out from under his shirt and between his fingers. He hastily pulled the pendant off his neck and held it up to eye level.

The jewel was glowing.

“No. No you are not allowed to do this,” He whispered at the pendant, “You are not allowed to just go about giving me false hope willy-nilly because I am on a feels trip.”

He poked the pendant with a finger and watched it swing.

“You are only allowed to glow when I say the damn spell and when I am close to him. And don’t even give me the bullshit on ‘he is always close to you ‘cause he is in your thoughts’ because I heard it enough times from Pat.”

He watched it’s swing slow and with that the glow began to die down.

“Yeah. That is what I thought, you stupid old spell.”

The pendant hit the mattress with a dull thud as the glow slowly died out. The day had barely started, and he was already on an emotional roller coaster. A glance at his phone told him it was five in the morning as well. A much earlier terrible day then, full of false hope and faulty magic.

_“You are being hard on yourself, BroRo. Come on. Smile. I will make you smile if you don’t smile. You know I will. Don’t make me get the Iron Maiden.”_

Roman pushed the memory away as he stood up. He stretched and winced at the pop his back gave at the action. Falling asleep at his desk earlier that night had not been the best thing to do for this spine, but the recent idea could not be ignored. He was finally struck with inspiration after so long being in a block.

A flick of his wrist created a small fluffball of a dog to his side. Whom he smiled at brightly as he moved to his closet.

“Want to go on a morning walk, Galahad?”

The dog’s tail wagged, and it gave a quiet yip of excitement at the very mention of the word. Roman let out a small chuckle at the excited action of the dog.

“Give me a second and we will head right on out, okay buddy?”

The dog yipped twice and jumped onto the large bed, ran around in a circle a couple of times, and then jumped off to run to the door. Roman moved as fast as he could to change out of his pajamas and into some more appropriate clothes to go on a morning walk. Sometimes doing things without a flick of the wrist was more fun.

He grabbed the dog leash and clipped it to the excited dog’s collar. The little dog was practically vibrating with excitement at the thought of walking. If Roman had not been holding onto the other end of the leash, then Galahad would have sprinted out of the door as soon as he opened it.

The pair made their way quickly down the stairs. The dog paused its fast walk by the faded door to the imagination. A pleading look on his little face.

“Not today, sunshine, I’m not ready to go in there again just yet.”

The dog whined but followed his owner as they stepped out into the subconscious. Not a very pleasant place to look at but it was good for a walk or a jog. A place to let one get lost in thought without a worry on how it would affect Thomas.

“Want to jog for a bit?”

With a happy yip the two set off in a steady pace. Never staying too far from the conscious mindscape. Galahad was happy to just run, stretch his legs, and nip at the weird white-grey clouds that the subconscious created.

Roman let himself become lost in thought.

_“Why was it glowing now?”_

_“Did I say the spell in my sleep? That doesn’t seem like me.”_

_“Why that memory? Why the falling?” _

_“Could he still be ali-!”_

Roman collided with something hard. Both ended up falling to the ground. His grip on Galahad’s leash was lost as he landed on the thing he had run into.

Or someone he had run into.

“If you wanted me that badly, you just had to ask.”

Roman looked up. Black shirt, yellow accents, smirking snake face.

“Deceit!” He scrambled off the downed side and tried to push off his embarrassment, “I am so sorry. I did not see you there.”

Galahad seemed quite excited by this turn of events as the dog began to run all over Deceit while the man tried to sit up.

“I assumed so,” Deceit easily caught the hyper dog and held him in place so he could sit up, “I called your name three times before I stepped in front of you.”

“You did?”

Deceit nodded. Roman felt the embarrassment grow.

“Sorry. I was lost in thought, I guess.”

“Want to talk about it?”

Roman shook his head and gave a nervous laugh, “No. No, it is stupid. Just had a weird dream and wanted to clear my head a bit.”

“Is that all?”

He did not like the tone that Deceit was using. It felt like the side already knew everything that was going on in his head. But that was impossible, right?

“_right?”_

“Yep. Pretty much,” Roman scrambled back up to his feet with an awkward laugh, “You know me. Always weird dreams and acting impulsively. What time is it anyway? I need to get ready for breakfast and the day. Oh I have so many video ideas to give to Thomas and-.”

“Roman.”

The prince’s mouth snapped shut and he looked down at his tennis shoes. It was better then looking at Deceit.

“You know you can talk to me about this right? I’m no snitch. I won’t go telling Patton that you are still missing him.”

Roman hugged himself. He tried to ignore the second pair of shoes that nose stood across from his own.

“I know, Dee, I really do know,” He took a breath, “But this is different than just missing.”

“What do you mean?”

Roman finally looked up. It was almost comical to see the usually sinister side without his hat or capelet, holding a fluffy dog, and in fuzzy pajama pants. Roman wished he could laugh. Wished he had the energy to hold it over his newly made friend’s head.

“I mean,” the words caught in the back of this throat. What could he say?

_“I think Remus is alive because a weird pendant I made magic glowed, so let’s go!”_

“I mean I just had a weird dream that brought up some old, hopeful feelings. Woke up all confused. It really is nothing.”

Deceit blinked slowly and then sighed, “Fine, but you are going to have to tell me eventually Roman Sanders.”

He handed Galahad over to Roman and started to move towards the door back into the Thomas’ mindscape. He paused in the doorway and looked back at Roman.

“Breakfast will be ready in half-an-hour.” A pause, “And, for the record, it is never a bad thing to have hope.”

Roman watched the door close. He felt the lick that the dog in his arms gave him. He looked down at his chest, for the first time in a long time bare of the pendant. He felt vulnerable without it.

He looked at Galahad slowly. The dog cocked his head to the side in confusion at the odd look on his owner’s face.

“Maybe today is the day we go back, Gally.”

Galahad barked and wagged his tail in excitement. Almost as if he agreed to whatever plan Roman was thinking up.


	9. Chapter 7: I Want to Believe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman was not planning on telling the others that he was planning a trip to the Imagination, but sometimes he can't keep his mouth shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Grief, death, sadness, Virgil is a little mean but that is just how he is in the mornings
> 
> Sorry it is a little shorter then normal.

Roman stayed out in the cold subconscious for a few more minutes. He paced back and forth with Galahad at his heels, the small dog sometimes made attempts to nip at his shoelaces. He needed a way. An excuse. He couldn’t just start back up the desperate search after a year.

_“Couldn’t I? What can they really do to stop you? It’s not like they own you” _His thoughts shifted into the nasally tone of his twin and he quickly shook his head to be rid of them.

“No. They asked me to stop for my own health and safety. They didn’t mean for me to stop for good, but I let my fear get in my way,” he stopped his pacing and felt a small dog bounce against the back of his legs.

He turned and looked down at Galahad, “I enforced my own banishment from the imagination, and it is about time that I… I at least go give myself the closure that those self-help books talked about.”

Galahad yipped in response and ran over to the door back into the mindscape.

“No I can’t just go in there and tell them I’m leaving. Are you crazy?”

The dog yipped again and scratched at the door.

“It isn’t that simple. It is never that simple.”

He ran a hand over his face and moved towards the front door slowly. His thoughts turning inwardly once more as he reached for the handle. The door was pulled back just as his fingers grazed the cold metal.

“Gally!”

Patton’s squeals of excitement were met with the happy barks of a small dog. Morality immediately got down on the floor and opened his arms to scoop the excited puppy into a hug. Giggles ringing out like a fairy’s song from all the small kisses he was being given.

Roman stepped around the scene and closed the door.

“Wow, I’m starting to think you love the dog more then me. Didn’t even give me a greeting.”

Patton laid down on his back with the dog sitting on his chest. Paws up in his own hands so he could make Galahad ‘dance’. His glasses pushed at an odd angle from the attack of the puppy love.

“Noooo, Roman, you know I love you,” he pouted but it disappeared as he was given another happy yap from the dog, “I just get so excited when I see Gally.”

“Nah, I am just teasing you. Actually if you could watch him while I head upstairs and get ready that would be great.”

Patton stopped mid-scratch of the dog’s ear and stared up at Roman with wide eyes.

“Really? I get him all to myself?”

“Yeah,” Roman shrugged, “Honestly it is better that he stays down here then trying to climb into the shower with me-OOF!”

Roman caught himself as Patton surged off the ground and into a tight hug that squeezed his ribs. The excitement making the hyper side seemingly vibrate.

“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I will take super good care of him.”

“It is only for an hour, Patt, it is not a big deal,” he paused, “But…if you would like to watch him for longer…”

He trailed off as Patton let go of the hug and looked up at him confused.

“What do you-?”

“Never mind. I am just thinking about stuff but now isn’t a good time to bring it all up and,” he cut himself off and made vague hand gestures, “I don’t even have a set idea yet.”

“Roman, what is going on? What do you mean you want me to watch over him longer? Are you going somewhere?”

“Roman’s going somewhere? Does Thomas need creative ideas this early in the morning?”

The prince turned to find Virgil on the stairs, hair mussed from sleep and his hoodie over his pajamas.

“This is not how I wanted to make this announcement,” Roman muttered under his breath.

“I wouldn’t think so,” Patton said to Virgil, “I’m pretty sure Thomas is still waking up, and from the amount of coffee Logan is drinking, it is taking a while.”

They both looked at Roman and the prince unconsciously took a step back from their gaze. He should have kept his big mouth shut.

<strike>“_We were never really good at keeping opinions to ourselves, huh, Ro-Boat?” _</strike>

“Look, nothing is set in stone yet so there is no reason to freak out,” he put on a charming smile to appease any worries they may have, “But I have been thinking I have…let my duties as keeper of Thomas’ Imagination slip past me in the last year. So maybe, I don’t really know, I was going to take a week in there to make sure everything is running smoothly. For Thomas’ health, of course.”

Roman could feel Deceit face palming from where he stood, and the snake side was not even in the room. He just kept a wide smile on his face and hoped that neither of them would see through his terrible on the spot explanation.

“You want to go back on your hunt for Remus, don’t you?” Virgil’s voice cut like a knife.

Roman flinched at the name yet his smile got painfully wider.

“What? No. I just want to make sure everything is running smoothly. If it isn’t then ideas can get backed up, dreams will become vaguer, and all that other yucky stuff.”

“How long would you be gone?” Patton asked. He now held Galahad to his chest.

“I don’t know yet, maybe a week? Like I said it is just an idea now. I don’t really know if I will go through with it.”

“Why would you hesitate if this was the good for Thomas? Unless it isn’t for Thomas.”

Patton sighed, “Virgil it is too early for this. Go to the kitchen and get yourself some coffee, please.”

Virgil glance to Patton then to Roman. The air tense with energy before Anxiety finally passed them and headed into the kitchen. With him went some of the fear and tension that Roman was feeling intensely.

It only came back when Patton stepped closer. With one arm holding the dog, he used the other to lead Roman over to the couches and sit him down.

“Do you really want to go in there just to check on the imagination?”

Roman did not look up at him, “Yes? No. I am not sure.”

Patton sat next to him patiently; petting the dog as he let Roman think.

Roman gave and sigh and looked to his friend, “I want to help Thomas. I don’t want to feel like this anymore and some days it is easier but … I feel empty, Patton.”

He touched his hands to his chest.

“I guess I just want one more look, or closure?” He glances at the door to the imagination and then back at his knees, “Or maybe I just want to finally confront that fear I have and move on. That when I open that door he won’t be there, and all of this will not be a very long nightmare.”

“What do you mean?”

Roman shrugged, “I mean, that because I never went back in there, there is a possibility that he isn’t de-gone. That I just did not open the door. It is that Schnozzle’s cat thing or whatever Logan was blathering about. If you don’t see it, it is and isn’t there at the same time.”

The only sound between them was Galahad’s yawn as he curled up in Patton’s lap for a morning nap. The two sides were silent as the words hung in the air.

Patton broke the silence.

“Losing people is hard. You can’t get over them in one day or even a year, but you can’t avoid things you once loved because of that loss.”

He placed a hand on Roman’s knee, “I am sorry we made you think going back in there would be bad.”

“What? No, you didn’t. I did,” Roman was shocked, “At first you were just trying to keep me from hurting myself and then I just stopped trying on my own. This is not-.”

“No. Roman, we did this. Maybe as a terrible team effort but we never actually tried to help you find your brother and I am sorry. I don’t know about the others, but I was just scared that we were going to lose you, too. You both were so alike, so loyal to each other, I was scared that if I kept letting you search you would not come home one day.”

Patton wiped at his eyes and shook his head, “This isn’t about me. I’m sorry I’m crying. Too early in the morning for that.”

He tried to laugh. It came out weak.

“I am not going to leave you, Patton,” Roman said, “I promise.”

“I know that, kiddo, that is why I trust you. If you think it is time for you to go back in there, then it is time. At least to help you heal.”

Roman felt tears well up in his eyes and tried to rub them away before they could fall.

“Gee thanks, Pat, making me cry this early. Now I am going to have puffy eyes for the rest of the day.”

“You’re welcome.”

They both laughed. A quiet sort of laugh that is filled with love and companionship in hard times. It trialed off and allowed for a peaceful silence to settle over them both.

“Only going to be gone a week, right?” Patton asked.

“Yeah. Only a week, not a day more,” he gave a sly smile, “Going to make me pinky promise?”

Patton held up his left hand with his pinky finger extended, “Now I am.”

Roman laughed and interlocked his pinky with Patton’s. The two of them shook and then let go. They sat in silence for a moment more before Roman stood up and stretched.

“Well. I should head up and get ready for the day. Guess I should get things ready before I go, huh?”

Patton set Galahad on the couch so he could stand as well.

“You’re leaving today?”

The alarm in the moral side’s tone made Roman pause and then he gave a small laugh.

“What? No, that is way too soon. I just came up with this idea. I still got to pack, figure out where I am going, what I am going to do, and other vacation things like that.”

He watched Patton’s shoulders relax and let himself follow suit. This would be fine. He could do this. He could get some closure.

“See you at breakfast, okay?”

“Yeah, see you at breakfast Ro.”

Roman left the living room feeling a little lighter but also more scared then he had felt in a long time. For the first time in forever he was letting the hope take over. This was his last chance to figure out what happened to Remus and he was not going to throw that chance away.


	10. Chapter 8: A World of Pure Imagination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman returns to his kingdom.

The next few days passed by so slow, and yet super-fast, for Roman. He was nervous about letting himself give into the hope once more. He was excited to finally be in his element again. He was another emotion that he could not quite place.

He had packed and triple packed. Not that he really had to, but it gave him something to keep his mind on. The trunks were full of clothes and other trinkets. He planned to have his servants give things out to the people as an apology for his long absence.

Now he stood in front of the wooden door. The peeled paint a few days prior had started to repair itself. The white shined brighter and the gold and silver leaf no longer was chipped. It still had a long way to go but it felt like the door to the imagination was calling to him.

“I thought you said you were leaving in the afternoon.”

Roman jumped off his seat on his trunks and turned around. The excuse he had at the ready died on his tongue at the sight of the other side and he sat down with a small thud. A second later Deceit sat beside him.

“To be honest, Dee, I wanted a quiet send off. Patton’s been talking about a goodbye party for three days now, but I don’t think he is actually going to do it.”

“Oh he was, but he just wanted to keep you here a little longer.”

Roman looked in surprise at the side.

“Unintentionally,” Deceit explained quickly, “It is not some evil ploy he is just worried and kept putting off the preparations.”

“Oh.”

“You sound disappointed.”

Roman shrugged and looked at the door. His eyes traced the familiar lines as they both sat in silence.

“Why are you up anyway? You never wake up early,” Roman finally asked.

“Couldn’t sleep,” Dee yawned.

“Sorry.”

“Not your fault.”

The silence fell around them again.

Roman thought it was strange. A year had changed so much. A year ago he would not be sitting here in the dark of the early morning. A year ago he would not be in his own room. A year ago Deceit would not be sitting next to him like this.

A year ago he still had his brother.

A light bump of the shoulders brought Roman back to the world. He looked at the side next to him who simply stared right back. Head titled to the side.

“You don’t have to do this if you do not think you are ready.”

“You don’t think I am ready?” Roman asked. He tried to push down the annoyance he felt at such an accusation.

“I never said that,” Deceit said, “I have no idea how you feel or what you are capable of. In the end it is your life and your emotions and your decision. This is a big decision and I can understand some hesitance.”

They both stared at the door.

The anger that Roman had begun to feel died and became a cold numbness.

“You-,” he paused, “Do you want to come-?”

“No, Roman. Don’t ask that of me.”

“Why not? You are the only one that is supporting me in this. At least outwardly. It would be good to be able to have guidance-.”

Deceit cut him off once again, “My purpose is to protect the ego and Thomas. I think the best course of action right now is letting said ego go out on his own healing journey.”

Roman opened his mouth to protest but a creak sounded from upstairs. They both turned to look but saw nothing in the dim morning light.

“You should get going,” Deceit stood up and brushed off his pants, “If you really do want to avoid them, that is.”

Roman glanced at the stairs one more time before he stood and looked at the side in front of him. He placed a hand on Deceit’s shoulder and before the snake could ask, he pulled the side in for a hug. He felt the man stiffen and then relax. It was a quick hug, something that would not make Dee too uncomfortable.

“Tell them goodbye for me?”

“Of course as long as you be safe.”

Roman gave a soft chuckle and took a step towards the door to the imagination. Deceit took a step back away from the trunks.

With a wave of the prince’s hand the three trunks began to float.

Roman took a breath and let his hand touch the old doorknob. He closed his eyes, thought of the palace he had not seen in a year, and then turned the handle.

With one quick glance back over his shoulder and a weak smile sent from Deceit he moved out of the world of Thomas’ mind and back into the imagination. The trunks following him through.

The door behind him closed with a click.

He had to close his eyes at the bright light that suddenly bombarded him. The trunks behind him falling onto a carpet with a dull thud. Tired hands rubbed at his eyes as he readjusted to this world around him.

He stood in a room. A large room fit for a king with a vaulted ceiling. The floor was covered in elaborate rugs that hid the cold marble underneath. A canopy bed laid in the center of the room, the pillars a beautiful bronze and the blankets a rich red and gold.

The curtains were wide open, and the morning sun illuminated the room perfectly.

He turned around and found he had seemingly just stepped out of the closet. A closet plastered with Disney posters that ruined the fantasy aesthetic.

“Well, glad I finally felt safe enough to come out,” he laughed at his own lame joke.

“Indeed, Sire.”

Roman jumped. What was it with everyone and sneaking up on him today?

“Arthur, you scared me.”

He turned to find an old man standing in the room. An eyebrow raised and a small quirk in his lips that told the prince that was Arthur’s intention.

“I apologize.”

“No you don’t.”

They two of them stared at each other. Roman broke first. With a laugh he moved across the room and pulled the man into a hug.

“I missed you.”

“I miss you too, little prince. The kingdom has been running smoothly in your absence, but it was never completely whole without your presence.”

Roman pulled back only slightly. Keeping the older man in his arms.

“I know. I should not have stayed away so long-.”

Arthur shook his head, “You were in mourning. I am just glad to know you are back and safe.”

Roman nodded and finally released his friend.

“I miss him,” he found himself saying.

It startled him. He had not admitted it in so long. It felt strange. It hurt, but it also felt right to say.

“I miss him a whole lot.”

“And that is perfectly alright. Though some in the kingdom might not admit it, but we all mourn the loss of Prince Remus.”

“You know he preferred the title of Duke.”

Arthur smirked, “Does not hide what he was born as.”

A knowing twinkle in the old man’s eye made Roman smile. Arthur was his oldest creation not just in appearance. He was technically Remus’ too as Arthur had appeared long before the split. He knew them both. He knew Creativity.

Arthur loved them both dearly, as if they were his own grandchildren and boy did Roman know it.

“Any plans for your return, Sire?”

Roman shook off the nostalgia and focused on the present. He stood taller, ready to act as the prince he needed to be.

“I have brought gifts for the village and beyond to make up for my absence,” he gestured back to the trunks, “I would like to hold a small feast for the kingdom’s nobles and properly address the inheritance of my brother’s duchy. If any of them have touched his domain, they shall be imprisoned. It is mine and I will make up for neglecting it.”

Arthur nodded, “Of course.”

“Then I would like to assemble a crew and have a vessel prepared to set out to sea.”

“What for?”

Roman moved to the windows and pushed them open. Just beyond the stretches of trees he could see an expanse of blue. So faint and far away from where his capital sat.

“A faster method in visiting my brother’s ocean-side lands,” he paused, “And I want just one more look.”

His fingers gripped the banister and he let his eyes lower to the streets far below. The cool morning air ruffled his hair.

“I just want to be sure I didn’t miss anything, Arthur,” his chest ached, “I don’t even have a body to bury.”

A hand rested on his shoulder and Roman turned fast to bury his face into the old man’s chest. Sobs came before he could stop them. He thought he was over this crushing pain but being back here, being back without another presence lurking in the shadows, it hurt. It hurt so much.

He remembered the months of climbing mountains, of organizing search parties, of setting rewards that always came up with terrible impersonators.

Arthur’s hand smoothed the prince’s hair and he felt like a child again. So lost and alone when his brother decided to play more with the other, scarier sides.

“Roman, you are so strong,” Arthur said softly, “I will make sure that this crew is the best. He deserves a happy end and so do you.”

Roman stepped out of the hug after a minute and rubbed away the tears but they would not stop flowing. He felt embarrassed. He was supposed to come back strong and ready to lead.

“He’d probably love all this. Making me cry so much.”

“You and I both know that is not true, Roman.”

Roman nodded sadly and glanced back outside again. The sun had risen fast and below people were beginning their day.

“I shall leave you to get cleaned up, sire,” Arthur said with a small bow, “A servant will be up to gather the trunks and lead you to breakfast.”

Arthur gave Roman a small squeeze on the shoulder and then turned to leave.

“Wait!”

The old man paused and turned back to face the prince.

Roman shifted on his feet and looked down at his boots. The words he wanted to say struggling to come out.

“I…thank you.”

Arthur smiled, “I will always be here for you. Both of you.”

The door to the chambers closed as Arthur left. Roman took a breath to try and calm the emotions that wanted to well up inside his chest.

Not even an hour in and already he had cried. Not exactly what he had planned but something in him told him to push on.

He looked back out towards the distant sea. If his brother was anywhere it was in that mysterious water. He knew it. He felt it.

“I’m coming, just hang on. Wherever you are.”

Roman didn’t notice the faint green light under his jacket.

“Sire?”

He broke his gaze out the window and turned. A young man had poked his head into the room.

“S-Sir Arthur told me that I had to bring down some trunks?”

“Just you?”

The young man looked back out of the cracked open door and then back at the prince.

“Well there are a few more of us.”

Roman chuckled. He hoped his face did not give away how much he had cried just a little earlier.

“Well then that is acceptable. I thank you all for your assistance. The trunks are right over there. I need them taken down to the grand hall,” he motioned to the heavy trunks and then moved to his desk to hastily scribble out a note. He folded it and quickly sealed it with his ring.

He handed the message to the boy as a few more came in to begin to move the trunks.

“Give this to my herald. Once he reads this, he will give you boys further instructions.”

The boy said nothing as he took the letter and gave a hurried bow.

Roman went back to his desk and opened a few more drawers before he found what he needed. A bright smile on his face as he turned and handed the boy a bag of coins.

“And this is for your help. I insist that you split it amongst yourselves.”

The boy peeked into the bag and his eyes widened, “S-sire we cannot take this!”

“Nonsense, I insist. I have too much to really care about,” Roman laughed, “Consider it a bonus for helping me at such short notice.”

A few boys set down the trunk they had been carrying and investigated the bag. Their shock clear on this face.

A chorus of thank yous came from the servants as they hurried to get the job done. One even gave Roman a tight hug around the middle before they hurried to get the trunks out of the room and down to where they were needed. A skip in some of their steps.

As soon as the door closed the bright smile on Roman’s face slipped into one that was a little sadder.

A quick slap to his own face and he quickly turned around.

“No. No more sadness. We have business to conduct and an adventure to fulfill.”

Three blue birds landed on the windowsill and Roman grinned. A song already filling his lungs.

“Good morning my friends. Are you here to help me get ready for the day?”

He held out a finger and one of the birds flew and landed on it. A happy chirp greeting him. The other two landed on his shoulders.

A sense of familiarity and normalcy washed over him as he began the first notes of ‘A Dream is a Wish your Heart Makes’. The birds singing along as he got ready for his first day back in his kingdom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How many chapters till I get to this this dang boat !?!
> 
> I have no idea, Roman wants to keep crying. LIKE WHYYYYY


	11. Chapter 9: Invisible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Em learns that his necklace is possessed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Spiders, crab violence, loneliness, abandonment issues, roman sad

A crab moved slowly across the sand. The sun was high in the sky and it was dangerous for a creature like him to be on the hot sand. But it had it’s reason.

At least it did until it found itself grabbed.

“Gotcha-AH! PINCHING!”

The creature that had grabbed it screeched as he tried to pry the crab’s right claw off the sensitive skin between the thumb and pointer finger. Not pleased with the would-be captor’s screeching and flailing.

Em was not impressed with the pain that was racing up his hand. He was already having a bad day at catching something that was not fish now he was in pain. This sucked.

“I was just going to give you a sandcastle home!” Tears leaked down dust covered cheeks and into overgrown facial hair.

The crab was not impressed by the pitiful sight. After a strong flail of the hand he let go and scuttled away to safety.

Em watched sadly as he cradled his sore hand close to his chest.

“Okay, so it was kind of a lie,” he called after it, “But I was going to let you play in it before I ate you.”

Not unexpectedly, the crab gave no reply.

The man huffed and sat down on the sand to inspect his battle wound. The skin was red, and a bruise was starting to form. He felt himself lucky that it had not broken the skin. He felt his pulse were the crab had held on.

“Why does everyone leave me?”

He blinked at the statement.

“Why did I say that?”

It felt like a statement he was used to feeling but he did not understand why. All he knew was this island. All he had were the animals that were on it.

_“Maybe I just feel it because no one has come to find me?”_

He shook off the sad thought. Even if someone was coming, he would not know who they were. That would make it super awkward.

He giggled at the thought.

“Oh hello, Em! There you are!” He said in a fake voice. He made it pitch down and be a little bubblier, “We have been looking for you everywhere!”

“Who are you?” He said in his usual nasally tone.

“Why, my friend, it’s me! We have known each other for years. We love you and were looking forever.”

“Sorry, think you have me mistaken for someone else. I don’t have friends.”

He fell into giggles and the little scene he had created ended.

He felt more tears start to slide down his cheeks.

He did not know why he was crying.

Em sniffled and wiped his tears away on his bare arm. He did not feel like playing in the sand anymore.

With a small grunt he pushed himself to his feet and moved back into the shade of the wooded area. The air temperature dropped tremendously under the lush foliage. A few birds sand songs up above from their hidden branches.

_“In for four. Hold for seven. Out for eight.” _

The simple mantra had been the only thing holding him together. It was a memory. A scrap but it was at least something. Someone out there that he had cared for and helped.

His feet stopped him just as he reached the base of his tree. He looked up and sighed.

“A mid-day nap would do me some good,” he said to himself.

It took another minute to convince himself to climb up. No matter how long he stayed up in that tree he was still afraid he was going to fall.

“Hey, Annie, I’m back.”

He moved over to his bed and laid down. Above his head, about three branches up, was a spider web with a large black ‘friend’ in the middle.

“I know I’m back early, but the crabs were being mean,” he shrugged and rubbed at his new bruise, “Plus I knew you missed me.”

The spider only shifted a leg. Perfectly still in their web.

Em sighed and rolled over onto his side facing the tree.

“Well, I’m going to take a nap-what the hell?”

The pendant around his neck started to glow. A faint red and then one of a neon fire. He gave a small yelp when the cord that hung it there pulled taunt and pointed out in the direction of the beach.

“What the hell? What the Hell? WHAT THE HELL?” He pulled on the string that forced his head up into an uncomfortable angle.

He wanted to get it off him but was also scared that if he did that, he would lose it. He did not know why that would be bad, but he just could not bear the thought of it being gone forever.

As randomly as it had started the necklace lost it’s glow and fell back down onto his chest. His neck allowed to go back to its normal angle. He looked around as if the source of the strangeness was somewhere in his tree. It was not.

Nervously, he pulled the necklace off and set it down next to his leaf bed.

“Okay. You stay there, no creepy glowing,” he told it, “I don’t know what that was, but I did not appreciate it.”

He almost expected the necklace to answer back. It did not.

Em poked it with his finger and moved away fast in case if exploded.

It did nothing.

He let out a breath and gave a small giggle. His eyes moved up to lock onto Annie.

“Guess I am more tired then I thought,” he said, “it’s just a necklace.”

He picked it up warily.

“Just a necklace.”

He slipped it back on over his head and laid down slowly. The necklace did not start to glow again.

“Just a necklace.”

* * *

Roman leaned on the railing as he watched the waves being cut by the vast hull of the boat. His eyes stayed locked onto the distant speck that once been the docks of his kingdom. The small tiny bit of land sinking behind the curve of the horizon line slowly.

When it did, he felt air leave his lungs. Away from the court life. Away from the pestering for titles and land. Away from the condolences.

“Sire, we have caught a breeze that will take us to the docks of-.”

“I want to change course.”

The captain of the ship stopped short. Roman did not look at him.

“Sire?”

Roman kept his eyes locked on the horizon line. His fingers lazily played with the pendant around his neck.

“I want to change course. Head that way but do not dock, I want to move out into the open sea from his docks.”

“May I question why the change in plans, sire?”

Roman turned his head to look at the captain. He looked the man up and down and then turned back to the open ocean.

“No.”

He winced and stood up straighter.

“I just…I have this gut feelings. Please?”

The captain didn’t answer, and he heard him walking away. Last thing he needed was for the captain to hate him and throw him overboard.

He sighed.

Roman guessed he should have given a reason, but he felt no reason to. It was his money that paid them. It was his brother he was looking for. He had to put on a smile for every noble that came up to him at dinner yesterday. He had to put on a smile every time he faced Thomas or Patton or Logan.

He pulled on the string of the pendant so that it hung up in front of his face. The sunlight shone through the gem and painted him in green.

_“What if you threw it in the ocean like the old lady from Titanic?”_

Roman chuckled at the idea but let the necklace fall to his chest.

“Maybe another time.”

He moved away from the railing and down to the belly of the ship. His destination was the cabin he had been granted. The large bed and desk almost distracted him from the fact that everything was wood, and the waves crashed just outside. No land in sight. 

He took a breath as he closed the door. The smell of water and salt reached him and made his nose crinkle up. He was never one for ocean adventures normally.

But this was not normal. This was his last hope.

“Alright, no more moping,” Roman moved over to the desk and pushed aside some parchment. He had taken it out to doodle while they traveled but he could not focus. Under it was a map. A map of this main area of the imagination.

Every island created. Every continent located. His whole world drawn out in muted blues and greens.

He sat down on the old chair and looked it over. His eyes moving down from the gold star where the capital was to the lower reaches of the world. A faint line cut through the woods where the trees were colored darkest. Along the coast a dark castle stood.

_The Duchy of Bizarre. _

His finger tapped the castle as he stared at it. His eyes tracking the distance from the capital to the cliffs next to the ocean. His finger followed his eyes and then up to the cliff face. He let his hand fall back as he looked out at the blue that surrounded the shore.

“Okay,” he gave a breath, “I need to give them a better direction.”

With shaking fingers Roman pulled the pendant off and held it up over the map.

“I really hope magic doesn’t have an expiration date.”

The pendant swung back and forth lazily. He watched it as he tried to remember the words the Dragon Witch told him.

“Lost is the spirit split in two.  
Lost is the life that could have been.  
Reunite the broken parts.  
Make the king whole again.”

The pendant began to glow. The green going from a pale spring to something more neon. Unbeknownst to Roman his eyes had started to flow a fiery red.

“Show me a sign,  
Lead me now.   
Give back what was mine.

Find the other  
And complete your task.  
Locate the missing brother.”

The pendant started to swing wildly in his hand before suddenly it stopped.

The necklace held itself over the map, above the cave, and seemed to be suspended in the air. The tip of the gem pointed out the window of this cabin.

Roman blinked and the glow of his eyes died down to his usual brown.

He could not believe that it worked.

With shaky legs he stood up from his chair, his hand a death grip around the necklace. Moving around the cabin showed him what he already knew. The pendant continued to point in the direction they needed to go.

East.

His brother was somewhere to the east. Somewhere out in these waters.

Hope that he had long buried began to bloom anew in his chest.

“I’m coming Remus.”

He put the necklace back around his neck and startled when the glow ended. The cold gem thumped back onto his chest, once again a simple stone.

“Convenient.”

With a turn of his heel he headed back out. Hoping the Captain would listen to another change of direction and a good apology for being rude earlier. At least now he had some evidence one why they should change course.


	12. Chapter 10: Hide and Seek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An island is in sight, a pendant shining bright, and it is time the twins reunite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: spider, sadness, roman rushes in

_Bang! Bang! Bang!_

Roman groaned and pulled the pillow over his head. He had not been sleeping well the past two days. The rock of the ship, usually something he could endure, had caught up to him at night. He barely wanted to move from the bed.

The most he would do is sit up and repeat the spell to make sure that the ship was on the correct course.

_Bang! Bang! Bang!_

“Prince Roman!”

Roman tired to push the pillow tighter over his head.

“Five mo’ minutes.”

_“Deceit would be proud,”_ he thought lazily to himself, _“Or annoyed because I was the knock-.”_

“Prince Roman, we have found land.”

Roman sat up fast. A thing he regretted at the small wave of dizziness made him groan and close his eyes.

“The captain told me to tell you. We have no record of this island on any of the maps he thought-.”

The crew member paused as the door was thrown open. Roman stood there, dressed down in just a shirt and pants, not unlike Prince Erik from _The Little Mermaid_, and looked down at the man with an intense gaze.

“Land?”

The sailor nodded, “Yes, sire, land.”

Roman unconsciously reached for the pendant around his neck and looked down the hall where the stairs were.

“Captain wanted to know if you wished to drop anchor.”

He looked back at the man in front of him and nodded, “Yes. As quickly as possible and prepare me a boat.”

The man saluted and hurried down the hall and up the stairs. The brief second the trap door was open he heard the crew shouting to one another and the sound of birds overhead. Then the door closed, and it was silent once more.

He moved back into his room and grabbed his sword.

Every atom in his body felt like it was vibrating. It almost felt like the feeling Virgil gave to Thomas before a play, only much more intense. Much more terrifying.

Much more was at stake.

He took a breath, attached his sheath to his belt, and stepped back out into the hallway.

Another breath.

He moved towards the stairs and up into the light.

* * *

Em opened his eyes slowly. He just wanted to curl back up under his threadbare jacket and fall back into his dream.

He did not understand that dream, but he knew that he was happy. He was dancing with someone in a ballroom. He had looked over and saw a pair of people that made his heart swell with even more joy. Then the scene began to fade.

Now he was here, laying on leaves and with an aching back.

Em closed his eyes and sighed through his nose before he opened them again. They automatically landed on the spiderweb above him.

Annie was hiding somewhere in the leaves. There were a few bugs locked in the sticky trap. One fly was still alive and fruitlessly struggling. Poor thing did not know that it was useless.

The usual morning it seemed.

The birds were singing. The waves were crashing on the shore. There was shouting coming from the beach.

Em closed his eyes.

They opened fast and he moved to stand to his feet. His grip on the tree shaky as he tried to get to his hidden look out. He heard his heartbeat in his ears.

There was shouting coming from the beach.

Em pushed the leaves away and stared out at the familiar sand and surf. Just a distant away were large white sails. Down the mast was a ship.

He leaned to try and get a better look at this vessel. He was unsure if it was even real or if he was in another dream. The pain from his hand slipping off the tree trunk and the fear that filled him as he fell was confirmation enough.

He caught himself on another branch with his legs still on his treehouse platform.

“A ship,” he whispered the words in awe. Despite the fear that had just seized him he could not have felt more excited.

More scared.

People. Actual people. He had no idea how long it had been since he saw another human face. He did not know where he came from in the first place, but this was a chance. A chance to get off this island.

A hysteric giggle left him, a sound he had never heard himself utter before. He found he liked it.

He let it fall into a laugh as he pulled himself back up onto his treehouse platform. He grabbed his jacket from where it lay and threw it over the edge so he could climb down.

As soon as his bare feet hit the floor of the forest he took off running.

* * *

Roman felt the warmth of the sand through his boots. He felt the sea breeze blow from behind him. He heard the bird song from inside the trees.

He saw the glow of the stone around his neck getting brighter.

“This island does not look too large, your highness, we will probably be able to scout the whole land before nightfall.”

Roman nodded along to what was being said to him, but his eyes locked onto something on the beach just by the jungle’s edge. A sandcastle.

It was slightly destroyed by the tides, but it was recognizable for someone who knew the building well. He had been there when it was first built. The tower was a pile of sand but there it was. Remus’ castle.

“Sire?”

He heard someone call for him, but he just looked away from the castle into the brush. Something was moving in there.

“Sire, I suggest you move back. Something is coming towards the beach fast. It could be dangerous.”

Roman did the opposite. Roman sprinted towards the jungle and disappeared into the greens.

* * *

Every footfall brought Em closer to the sound of waves and talking. His eyes were locked onto the light where the trees began to thin out.

He was not ready for a figure to suddenly break through the tree line and run straight for him. He was not ready for the bright green light to blind him. There was no time to stop.

They collided with a bang, a crash, and some curses.

Em stared up at the treetops as he tried to catch his breath from his sudden tumble. His back hurt more then the normal ache from sleeping on leaves.

With a groan he sat up and rubbed his head. A few leaves now stuck to his hair and he felt around his face for any blood. Luckily, they had not crashed that hard.

The pendant around his neck was now dim. The green light had had been shining was also gone.

A groan brought his attention to the person laying across from him. White shirt and black pants. The movement of a hand to rub at an unseen face told Em that he had not killed the man in a terrible collision.

He scrambled over clumsily to lean over the figure. Eyes wide as he tried to find some injury or maybe he was just shocked to see another human being after so long.

A dirty hand hesitantly touched the person’s arm. He could not stop himself from doing so. That small touch seemed to burn. It felt so good and terrible all at once. He wanted to keep holding and let go.

_“Keep your cool, Em, keep your cool,”_ he thought as he took a breath.

“Please don’t be dead. I don’t want to stay in this place any longer.”

_“Nailed it.”_

The man froze at the touch and seemed to tense at the sound of his voice. Em started to become worried that he had killed the man when suddenly the hand moved from the face and he was staring back at disbelieving eyes.

“Remus?” The name was whispered in disbelief by the man.

Em looked around. There was no one around him but he heard the footfalls of others coming after their missing crew member.

The arm he had touched had been moved back only for a hand to clasp his own. The heat of the touch almost felt like burning. A terrible burn that he hated but also could not live without.

The man sat up faster than Em was expecting. His face right in his own as he looked him over. Em could see tears beginning to form.

“Look, pal, I’m sorry I ran into you,” Em began, “Or scared you, but maybe you should lay back down?”

The last thing he needed was for this possible rescue to hate him.

The grip on his hand got tighter as tears began to fall down the man’s face.

Em did not like seeing this stranger cry. He did not like how tight the grip was getting.

_“What if these guys are terrible pirates? What if they take you and make you a se-.”_

Remus gasped as he was suddenly pulled into a tight hug. A hug so tight is felt like protection but also desperation.

“You’re alive,” he heard the man that held him say, “You are really alive. I knew you were alive.”

The words fell into sobs as he clutched tightly to Em’s dirty shirt. He felt the tears sink through the grim and into the cloth.

_“He knows me.”_

Em blinked and slowly raised a hand to rub against the mystery man’s back.

“I was so scared, Remus. I thought…everyone thought…”

There was that name again. A name that seemed both foreign and familiar. Like the man in his arms. Like the pain on his back. Like the little dreams he had every night that left him both sad and frustrated.

“Don’t you ever leave me again, you idiot.”

Em looked up as a few people came through the trees. He watched as they all stalled and stared at the scene before them. He watched as they backed up to give the two of them privacy. As they whispered to each other.

The man in his arms moved back to look at Remus’ face. A watery smile on a face that Em thought should not look so sad. Callused hands cupped his face and looked him over like he was drinking the last drop of water in the desert.

“You are really here.”

Em opened his mouth to say something but then closed it. Confusion just lighting up his face.

_“He knows me but…”_

He could not stop the thought from escaping his mouth, but he wished he did. He wished he could stop that hopeful and joyful smile from crashing down into fear. He wished he could turn back time and beat himself bloody before he could mention those words.

That was just not something he could do.

“Who are you?”


	13. Chapter 11: Safe and Sound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman is going through a lot. So is Em.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roman is getting harder and harder to write and I don't know why??????

As Virgil would say, usually in context to something inconvenient, this was truly the worst timeline.

Roman had been pacing up and down the room since they got back onto the ship. Everyone had been in shock at the sight of the extra passenger on the boat back. The excitement had not been felt by the prince. He was all to aware of the question that banged around in his head since he first heard it uttered on that damned island. 

He glanced over at the other side of his cabin where his brother sat. His hair was long and a tangled mess, going past his shoulders. The usually tamed, yet ridiculous mustache, had turned into a matted mess to accompany the patchy beard. White t-shirt was stained in dirt and practically gray. His sash was being used as a belt for the ripped dress pants. Bare feet were crossed at the ankle as the ship’s physician looked into his ear, an uncomfortable look on his face.

The only thing that calmed Roman down a little was the red pendant around Remus’ neck.

_“It is him. It has to be him.”_

Roman stopped his pacing by the wall and rested his forehead against it. He had to breathe.

_“This is unexpected, but I can deal We can fix this. I’m not going to lose my brother again because of…of Anastasia amnesia moment.” _

“Sire.”

Roman stood up straight and turned fast to face the physician.

“Would you like to step out of the room?” The older woman looked concerned, “You seem agitated.”

Roman shook his head fast, “No. I am fine. I am just processing everything.”

His eyes moved behind her to the figure of Remus. His brother was chewing on the tongue compressor. In a weird way it was a relief. He wanted to cry at such a weird and perfectly-Remus action.

“Well, I believe you are going to have to process more,” the physician says, “From what information you have given to me I can confirm based on that that this is his royal highness.”

She turned back to the duke and pulled the tongue compressor from his mouth. She looked like an elderly grandmother scolding a child. With a toss of the hand the ruined wood was thrown away and replaced with a lollipop for the man.

Roman felt himself breathe a small sigh of relief but it was cut short as she turned back to him.

“But I am limited in what I can say for my lack of true knowledge and equipment on this ship.”

“But he has the birthmark,” Roman said quickly, “And the small gap between the front teeth? A-and the scar from his appendix surgery, it was a stupid thing for him to do but-.”

“Yes, your highness, all are accounted for.”

“Then why doesn’t he remember me!”

He did not mean to shout but his desperation and fear were strong. Roman’s eyes met Remus’ over the physician’s shoulder, and he felt pain. His brother looked so confused and scared. He did not fight the older woman when she grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the room.

“I know this is a troubling time, your majesty, but you must remain calm. I can do my best to explain what I can assess with my limited materials.”

The grip on his arm was tight but firm. He took a few unsteady breaths before he nodded for her to continue.

“Thank you. From my assessment, Prince-.”

“He prefers Duke.”

She continued like she had not heard him, “Prince Remus is suffering from mild dehydration, malnutrition, and a small sun rash on his lower arms. Besides that he is physically fine.”

Roman bit his lip from bursting out with question after question.

“It is his memory I have found reason for worry and even doubt on your claim that he is indeed the missing prince. As you have noticed he does not know you but, what is worse, he does not know himself.”

“What do you mean?”

She sighed, “If I did not have you aboard this ship he would be simply thought of as a cast away. He states that his name is Em, he only knows he washed up on that island, and besides the basic knowledge on how to be a human it is like all his personal memories have been erased.”

“How? Why?”

She shrugged, “I can only guess that whatever event got him washed up on that island probably had some sort of head trauma involved. A blow to the head can do a lot to the mind.”

Roman looked to the door that separated his brother from the hall.

“Can we bring them back?”

“I cannot say for certain, but there is always a chance a familiar environment will stimulate the memories to reveal themselves. Of course it depends on if he is already experiencing memories resurfacing.”

Roman nodded slowly, “Well, I held on this long for my brother to return to me. I am not going to give up on him yet.”

His smile felt strained, but he meant it to be genuine.

“Thank you for your help.”

She nodded, “Of course, your highness.”

He did not stay to watch her leave. A small breath was all he allowed himself to take before he pushed the door open to the room.

Remus was sitting on the floor now; the lollipop stick being chewed slowly in his mouth as he picked as a splinter. It was all too familiar but at the same time distant for Roman.

He wanted to step back out into the hall to take another grounding breath, but his brother’s eyes locked onto him made him stand still. Unsure what to say. Unsure on what to feel.

“It’s funny,” Remus’ voice sounded the same. The same nasally tone only a little rough from so long away from people, “I thought all the time about what my life could have been like before the island. Didn’t really think I was anything special.”

Remus took the stick from his mouth and just let it rest in his lap. A finger picked at a callous on the bottom of his foot.

Roman moved slowly across the room and knelt down to stop the hand from doing any harm by pulling at the skin.

“I’m sorry it took so long to find you,” Roman spoke softly. Scared that anything louder would have made the figure in front of him disappear like a cloud of smoke.

Remus shook his head and gave a sad smile, “I am just glad someone did. I hoped I had a family out there. Someone worried, who knew my brother was a prince?”

He laughed but it ended fast as his eyebrows came together. Roman watched as the gears slowly turned in his brother’s mind.

“Wait, does that mean I’m one too?” A blink, “Holy shit.”

Roman could not help but laugh. There was something almost childlike in the expression that came across Remus’ face; the wonder and the awe. So perfectly his brother.

“Yeah, in a way, though you always liked to hone the title of Duke over prince.”

“I’m a duke too!”

Roman shook his head gently, “And so much more but I am not sure if I am the best person to explain all of that.”

With a gentle tug both of them were now on their feet. The forgotten lollipop stick fell to the floor. Roman took the time to just hold his brother’s hand, feel the warmth there and the old callouses under the new. An indication that Remus was here and alive.

“Why can’t you tell me more?” He gasped, “Are you saying I am on the run from my jealous lover who I painfully betrayed by falling for another man. Only for the two of them to turn against me and call upon my bastard son to try and usurp my throne! A bloody civil war raging in the kingdom that none have been able to stop and only my return can fulfil the peace!”

Roman opened his mouth and then closed it. A couple of times.

Then he fell into a full-on laugh. It shook his whole from, and he had to lean his head against Remus’ shoulder to keep himself upright. The year of pain and mourning coming out in just a full-on laugh that brought tears to his eyes. He could not stop himself from pressing Remus into a tight hug once more.

Tears began to form before he could stop them, and he only tightened the hug. Laughter made his shoulders shake and his chest began to ache with the tears that had started to flow. They dripped onto the dirty shoulder of Remus’ shirt.

He felt hesitant hands be placed on his back. The awkward sibling pat being the answer to Roman’s crying and laughing combo from hell. It only made Roman hold tighter, in a way trying to make them both come back into one being no matter how impossible that was. The king was gone but Remus was not.

“So I am guessing I was wrong?”

Roman shook his head no and let a wet laugh escape him, “So, so wrong, bro. So wrong…but that is okay.”

He sniffed to catch anything running from his nose and then made a face. The smell of sweat, saltwater, and just Remus met his nose. As much as he missed his brother, he did not miss the weird smell that came off of him.

“Whoa, missed you but not the smell,” he gave a little chuckle as he finally released Remus from the hug. A hand still holding his brother’s arm.

Remus gave an awkward smile and then looked down at himself. A nervous giggle left his gritted teeth as he rubbed the back of his neck, “Sorry.”

The simple apology made the reality move back into focus. He had practically just hugged a stranger. A very familiar stranger but a stranger. Remus was probably weirded out by him for being so bold despite now knowing he was his brother. Knowing and feeling were two different things.

Roman awkwardly stepped back so there was space between them. As much as Ro wanted to keep Remus close, to just hold him to make sure he was alive, he also did not know if that was okay. Nothing in this situation was ideal.

“No. It’s alright, not your fault. I probably overstepped my bounds anyway.”

_“You never cared about smells before,”_ he shook the thought off and put on his show stopping smile.

“But don’t worry. We can clean you up the best we can on this ship and when we get back to the palace it will be even better. Get you ready to bring back to…to everyone else.”

Roman’s smile faded as quickly as it had been forced onto his face. He had not thought about what the others would think. Would they believe that he had made a fake? Would they even believe him when he said this is Remus? Would they make him send his brother back?

“Everyone else?”

He looked at Remus. Poor, dirty, and confused Remus.

No matter what the others said or thought he was not going to lose his brother again.

“Just another part of that ‘I am not sure how to explain it things’ I was talking about earlier. Let’s just focus on getting you cleaned up enough to feel comfortable before we get back to the palace.”

He did not wait for any protest from his brother about the idea of a bath.

“I’ll be right back, Em, don’t you worry. Just stay right here.”

Roman wanted to stay. To not let his brother out of his sight, but at the same time he wanted to run. Run away from the problem at hand. Run away from the situation he was imagining once they both returned home. He needed to get away.

For once the prince did not run towards the problem but away, at least for the amount of time it took to get a bath ready on a ship.

* * *

Em watched Roman run out of the room.

He felt confused, scared, but also relieved. He was finally leaving that island and going back to civilization. In the small cabin, if he strained his ears, he could hear the crew above deck working to get the ship ready to head back towards mainland.

Em thought of the prince, his brother, and it was confusing. To go from nothing but a castaway to a duke and prince of a kingdom, and from what Roman had told him it was not the full story.

He moved to the desk and sat down in the chair once more. A map was laid on the table under some books. In the corner next to a lantern was a picture. Not a portrait, but a picture. For some reason he did not find this weird. Like it fitted despite the periodization of the ship around him.

Em gently picked it up and looked it over in the dim light of the room. Four people were framed in it. One was his brother, Roman, in what Em guessed was his normal princely outfit. Next to him was a man in a blue polo and a grey sweater around his shoulders. On the other side of Roman was another man in a polo that was black with a blue tie. Both these men wore glasses. The one with the tie was objectively hotter in Remus’ opinion. The blue polo was such a dad.

The fourth figure was next to the dad. A dark hoodie was over his shoulders, a purple shirt under it that matched the purple patches sewn in random places. His eyes were shaded with dark eyeshadow.

Em stared at this figure the longest. He felt he knew them. Just as with Roman there was this annoying itch in the back of his head that screamed that he should know who this person was. All if gave him were small flashes.

_A laugh muffled behind a hand. _

_A shaking body being held close. _

_Heartbreak. _

His head hurt. He set the photo back before he became too dizzy. Whoever that person was, he was obviously important to the ‘Remus’ that he had been before the island. An enemy? A friend? An ex?

Whatever the answer was, his head hurt too much to ponder it. With a sigh the lost duke folded his arms on the desk and rested his head upon them. The gentle rock of the boat brought him a sense of peace that he had not felt in a long time. At long last he was safe. At long last he was free.


	14. Chapter 12: The Boys are Back in Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus and Roman finally arrive back to the Imagination's kingdom. 
> 
> Virgil is confronting his own pent up feelings. 
> 
> Deceit needs some tea...and maybe a drink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: graphic description of butterfly death/eating, Deceit blaming *but it gets better*, passing out
> 
> NOTE: I know this is not how amnesia works, really, but they are facets of a personality and are imagined so they don't have to always act like a human. Right? Right? Also this is fun.

He was not actually sure about that fact but the amount of people that had gathered on the pier that the ship was currently headed towards seemed to make an ocean of itself. Small ants from the distance they were currently at but still something that made his stomach turn.

A far way off, beyond the sea of people stood the silhouette of a castle. A forest that laid between the port town and the capital of this kingdom. A kingdom he was a ruler of. Kinda.

“Enjoying the view, your highness?”

Em jumped and found himself clutched to the railing of the ship. His heart beating fast in his chest. Behind him a good-natured chuckle sounded from the man who had come up behind him. The captain of the ship if he recalled.

“Oh,” Em laughed nervously and let himself relax his grip, “Yes. I…I really do not know what I expected but it is something amazing. And terrifying.”

He watched as the crowded dock seemed to draw closer.

“Why are they all there?”

The captain moved to lean against the railing next to the lost Duke. A pause before he answered as if he was observing the crowd before he answered.

“I believe they are celebrating your brother’s return, your highness. The prince did decide to take a year leave from his lands upon your disappearance.”

Em’s thoughts stalled as he processed what he had heard. For some reason, he could not fathom the idea of Roman not being the kingdom.

“He did? Why?”

“He was in mourning. A bond between brothers is something stronger than anyone can understand,” the captain stated matter-of-factly.

Em fell into his thoughts. The journey across the sea had been strange and he found himself more unsure about the person that claimed to be his twin.

Roman was so cautious with him and yet so expectant. Em just wished he knew how to tread the line that let him learn about his past while also keeping the carefree smile on the prince’s face. Instead he has found every way to make Roman shut him out, run off for an hour, or just go quiet without a continuation at whatever they had been talking about.

“Not strong enough to make me remember him or figure out what he wants from me,” Em grumbled under his breath.

“You both have been through some experiences. You both have changed. You will just have to learn each other again,” the captain patted the duke’s shoulder and left the royal to contemplate what he had been told as the shore drew nearer.

The ship was now at a distance where he could hear the distant chatter of the people. The music that played from the docks. There seemed to be so much life and yet he was scared to face it.

His feet moved on their own to get away from the railing and the view. The salt and sounds suddenly more overwhelming then he would have liked.

_He was balanced on the rail and held onto a rope. A large hat blocked his view of the sky and shielded him from the sun. The coat he wore was too baggy to really fit but he did not care. All he cared about was the people on the docks and the carriage that waited. _

_His eyes locked onto a figure dressed in white and he felt a grin spread across his face. _

_“Ahoy, Prince Poopy-face! Did you miss me?” _

_The ship slowed as it got closed to the dock where the figure stood. _

_Roman opened his mouth to speak-._

_“Remus?”_

“Remus? Em?”

Em blinked his eyes. He felt the cool wood of the dock on his back and a shadow of a person was over him. He did not remember sitting down. It seemed like an inconvenient place to take a nap.

A couple more blinks brought back into focus the person over him. A man dressed in a white outfit that was made for a prince. A red sash over his shoulder and gold accenting the royal look. The white was almost too much to look at. His head hurt too much.

“No, don’t close your eyes,” a gentle tap pulled Em’s eyes back open. He watched as the prince figure looked away at someone else, “What happened to him?”

A woman’s voice answered, “He probably just got overwhelmed and the added heat of the sun caused a small collapse. He shall be fine once we dock and you can get him somewhere shaded.”

_“Roman.”_

The name finally connected into Em’s brain as he stared up at the figure of his…his brother? That is who Roman said he was to him, right?

“Roman?”

Roman’s head snapped back down to look at him, which confirmed that Em at least got the name right. Em blinked slowly as the face above him merged with the memory that had just crossed his mind. The man on the dock whom he had called out to. Could it have been…?

Roman looked away, over at someone out of his sight, and the connection turned to static. The memory broke to pieces like mist in the wind. All it left was an ache in the back of his head that made him want to forget once more so the pain would leave.

“Can you stand up, Em?”

Em let the question become his new focus as he tried to push himself up off the dock. The dizziness from the fall he did not remember caused him to fall back onto his back.

“I’ll take that as a no.”

Hurried footsteps came over, “I brought some water, sire.”

“Thank you,” Roman reached out of Em’s view and came back with a cup, “Here. Drink some of this.”

The water felt cold verses the hot feeling that was running through his body from the vertigo. He let his focus settle on the senses. He gave the cup back to his brother once it was empty and let his eyes close for a moment. Embarrassment and confusion crept up now that the dizziness faded.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“It’s alright. I was afraid you were going to fall overboard.”

Em tried to match Roman’s nervous laugh, but he just felt a shiver of fear run through him. The idea of being so close to civilization only to fall back into the icy water.

_Being pulled under by something he could not see. Something that would not let go._

Em’s hand gripped onto Roman’s arm tightly at the sliver of a nightmare crept back into his mind. It disappeared as fast as it came when the bell of the crow’s nest began to ring. Both princes looked up at it.

“Guess we are landing soon,” Roman said after a moment and then he looked back down at his brother, “Come on. We got to greet the subjects.”

Em allowed himself to be helped to his feet. He clung to Roman’s arm for a moment as he shook off the last of the vertigo that threatened to bring him back onto the hard wood of the deck. Slowly he allowed his grip to loosen.

He did not let go completely.

The people on the dock were clearer. No longer were they just small blobs but now they were people. The distant shadow of the castle was harder to see and did not draw Em’s eyes as much as the seaside town. The colors of the people’s clothes jumped out to him. They meshed with the colors of the towns. They meshed with the colors of the red banners on the lamp posts.

A whole rainbow of color and of people.

Em felt dizzy from it all or maybe it was the recent tumble.

“Do…” he floundered for the words, “Do I need to say something to them?”

“Not today,” Roman said after a moment of thought, “I think we are both ready to get home.”

Em nodded. Butterflies threatened to escape from their acidic prison in his stomach. Their wings fluttered in his throat and almost choked him as the ship finally docked.

He wanted to run. Both towards the crowd and back into the bowels of the ship.

The ship’s anchor hit the sea floor. The ropes tied the ship to the dock. The crowd was pushed back by guards as the gang plank fell to allow the passengers and crew to one again step onto dry land. A perfect path cut to the carriage that waited on the road.

He did not realize that his grip on Roman’s arm that had tightened once more until the prince had hissed in pain. Em forced his hand to relax.

“Sorry.”

“It is alright. Just focus on the carriage and then we are home free, Em.”

“Focus on the carriage,” Em repeated.

Roman took his first step towards the gangplank and Em found himself pulled along.

Side by side the princes disembarked the ship.

* * *

It had been five days since Roman had disappeared back through that door and every day Virgil woke up without any news just increased his fear.

** _What if he doesn’t come back?_ **

** _Why did he have to get it in his head that it was good to go back in there?_ **

** _What if he never comes back?_ **

** _What would happen to Thomas? _ **

** _Why didn’t I stop him?_ **

“You are thinking too much, Virgil, you are going to break your brain with all that negative thinking.”

Virgil’s eyes snapped to the person in the kitchen entrance and he felt a growl want to escape his throat.

_“His fault”_

** _“His fault”_ **

“This is your fault, Deceit,” Virgil ground out between gritted teeth, “I don’t know how, but it is.”

“Moi?” Deceit put a hand to his heart and a fake look of shock crossed his face, “What would I have to gain from Roman gaining a peace of mind on the loss of his twin?”

“To send him off on another death quest that might actually take,” Virgil slipped off the kitchen counter.

“Now that makes no sense, you must really be jumping to conclusions without proof. Must I call Logan so you can see some reason?”

“I am not jumping to conclusions,” Virgil gripped at his hair to push down the rush of anger, “I just don’t want him hurting anymore. Why did you have to go and give him some stupid hope?”

Virgil did not know when Deceit had gotten closer, but he didn’t mind. Gloved hands gently loosened the grip on his hair until the grip could be broken.

“Because hope is not a crime to have. Because hope is something everyone needs when they are hurt.”

Virgil looked down at their hands. Yellow gloves were gently wrapped around his own. The chipped black nail polish seemed to glow against the color.

“Hope hurts people in the worst ways, though. What is going to happen when he walks back in having failed?”

“We say how proud of him we are for walking back into a place he had avoided for nearly a year,” Deceit sighed, “But I don’t think we are discussing Roman, are we?”

Virgil pulled his hands away as if they had been burned. A caged look came over his face.

“Don’t you turn this on me. I’m fine.”

Deceit held up his hands in surrender before they fell to his side, “Of course you are. It was not like you lost a friend the same time Roman lost a brother.”

“Remus wasn’t-.”

“Don’t lie to me, Anxiety,” Deceit cut him off with a hiss, “No matter what you said, or did, you cannot deny that he did love you.”

“Gross.”

Deceit rolled his eyes, “Like as a friend, get your head out of the fairy tale romance books.”

Virgil watched as Deceit fixed his gloves. The side using the tactic to refocus his composure.

“What I mean to say is that, you knew he cared about you and I think somewhere you still cared about him. I know me and…and Remus were not the best family in the past, but that does not take away the pleasant memories. Even if you are still mad at him, it is alright to mourn.”

“When did you become the life coach of grief?” Virgil was not crying. He refused to acknowledge the tear that had slipped.

“When everyone else decided they did not want to process emotions in a healthy manner,” Deceit looked around the kitchen, “It is an exhausting job. Why I came in here for tea and I am even feeling kind enough to share.”

Virgil rubbed at his eyes with the back of his hoodie’s sleeves, “Wow, how generous.”

Deceit smirked and set the kettle on the stove top, “I know I am.”

The anxious side did not hide the huff of amusement that wanted to escape him. He hopped back into his seat on the counter and let himself relax in the familiarity of it all. He still felt angry and hurt but in a weird way that chasm in his heart had started to heal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the filler chapter.


	15. Chapter 13: I'm Headed Straight for the Castle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to the Palace! Time to make this castaway look more like a Duke!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this chapter being late. But it is longer so that is good, right? 
> 
> There is this scene I really want to write but I am struggling to get it in. It is not in this chapter but it might start off the next one. I also promise that we will get back to the mindpalace soon. I will say either next chapter or the one after that.

Roman watched his brother closely. His eyes had not left the figure since they had started the journey back to the palace. In all the years the twins had been alive, he had never experienced this level of silence in the carriage ride.

Remus was glued to the window. His nose was pressed against the cold glass as he took in every sight. He watched those eyes only widen as they entered in the capital. As they took in flying cars whizzing over thatch houses. The mix of modern, fantasy, and sci-fi must have created a new realm of wonder for the amnesiac.

Any time Remus would glance over at him, the prince was quick to act like he was looking out a window. The ride, though thankfully silence, was torture for Roman who was used to the noise.

The small gasp that Remus gave was loud enough to make Roman look out the window for real this time to see they had crossed the drawbridge. The palace gates closed behind them as they moved across the grounds towards the entrance.

A unicorn trotted along the greens. A few small dragons flew loops in the sky.

Roman’s nose touched the cool glass as he tried to take in the home he had not seen in a year. His heart had missed this place. The feeling of that longing for the imaginative realm hit him like a ton of bricks. He desperately wished he had more time to stay here.

To show Remus everything he had created. To show his brother everything they had created together.

Roman could see it now. The two of them going on a grand tour to celebrate the safe return of both the Imagination’s rulers. A party every day and at night they would create chaos. It would be glorious.

Roman’s daydreaming was cut short when the window he now leaned against suddenly disappeared. The door to the carriage having been opened upon its stop at the entrance.

Roman got a face full of white gravel and a nice spike of pain along his back. The small groan beside him showed that he was not alone in the pain.

“Wonderful to have you back with us, Sire.”

Roman lifted his head. A few small stones stuck to his face where they had made their imprint. Arthur smiled good naturedly down at him.

“Thanks for the warning, Arthur,” Roman pouted before he turned his head to the other beside him.

“I believe me walking up to a window attached to a door was enough of a warning, sire.”

Remus lifted his head and spit out a few rocks onto Arthur’s boots. The smile that appeared on his face gave Roman enough of an indication that his brother was fine.

“I have been through an emotional roller coaster, I do not need your snark,” Roman said up to the elder man as he pushed himself to his feet.

He brushed white dust off his pants and then held out a hand for Remus to take. One good pull brought the duke back to standing.

Arthur’s eyes landed on Remus and the teasing smile faded into one of concern and confusion.

“Roman,” Arthur began but stopped when he found himself nearly hit by the hand that shot out from Remus.

“Hi! I’m Em,” Remus seemed very cheery for having just been dumped to the ground, “Wait, you probably know me. Or maybe now… am I even supposed to shake hands with people?”

Roman looked at Arthur as he pushed Remus’ arm down.

“I want to keep this a secret, Arthur, for now. I’ll explain everything as soon as we are somewhere we can discuss this privately,” Roman said.

The old man nodded and ushered the two royals forward.

“Follow me, Sires.”

Roman thanked the Thomas for the creation of Arthur. He grabbed his brother’s hand and pulled him along behind the old courtier. They entered the grand hall before moving into a secret passage at the front of the entrance behind a large statue of a lion.

Thankfully, this new version of Remus seemed to be content to be quiet as they moved up the old stairway.

The passage eventually opened up in the west wing, specifically in Roman’s private parlor. The picture swung open enough to allow them to enter before it closed behind them with a click.

“Wow! This room is super red. Like a bloody shower!”

Remus laughed as he moved to the center of the room and span around to take in all the art. The picture frames of pure gold surrounded scenes of Roman’s favorite dreams Thomas had had over the years.

Arthur looked at the duke with a confused expression. Roman could tell the old creation was thinking. He watched as Arthur raised a hand and gave it a flick. Red, green, and blue lights began to float around Remus. Much to the Duke’s surprise. The castaway stopped his spinning to poke at one of the lights.

“What are these? Are they edible? Why are they pushing me?”

“Remus, it is okay,” Roman tried to reassure, “They are fairies. Good fairies, they just want to help you get cleaned up.”

A green fairy flew up into Remus’ face and caused the man to cross his eyes, “Should I go with them?”

“We are about to discuss political matters, your highness, not something I would want to bother you upon your sudden return,” Arthur said, “You will be safe in their hands.”

Remus glanced to Roman, who gave a nod to show that he would be safe. This was enough for the Duke to allowed himself to be led away from the parlor.

Roman did not let his eyes leave his brother until the door closed. He knew that Remus would be safe but a part of him would always fear that somehow his brother would disappear once again.

“Please assure me that you did not make a figment of your brother, Roman.”

The prince’s attention locked onto his friend and advisor.

“I did not make a figment of my brother.”

“Are you sure? Sometimes you two have the habit of creating things without awareness,” Arthur pressed.

“He has the pendant, Arthur,” Roman raised his own to prove his point, “We cannot just make more of these out of thin air. I mean, we could, but they would not be the same since we made them when we were twelve. Plus, Dragon witch magic is on mine and only reacts to the real one. And his reacted.”

_“It is all I have to go on,”_ Roman didn’t say. Instead he let his prideful posture slump. The year of grief and worry washing over him once more.

“I just…I know it sounds weak as an argument, but he can’t be a figment. I don’t want him to be one, Arthur, and he doesn’t feel like one.”

Arthur placed a hand on Roman’s shoulder. The warm presence a comfort but there was something not quite whole in it. Arthur, no matter how much Roman cared for him, would always be part of the Imagination after all.

Roman also knew that every touch or accidental brush with the castaway had felt solid. Felt real.

Felt like Creativity.

“The ship physician said it is amnesia,” Roman said, “I know that seems so convenient that he does not remember me. Makes it look like he is a figment, but he is not. He is real. He is my brother; I can feel it.”

Roman rubbed his face to try and hide tears that wanted to fall. He was so sick of crying.

“I know you don’t understand,” He had said this so many times, “But I know my brother, I can feel him, and that is him. He just doesn’t remember.”

Roman braced himself for some sort of lecture. About how twin senses were not actually a thing. That feelings can ruin logical thought. That he was scared to let go. That he did not need to feed into anymore delusions.

“I believe you, Roman.”

Roman let out a breath that he did not know he was holding in. A small amount of worry and pressure finally lifted up off his weary shoulders.

“But know that others may question this. It almost seems too convenient” Arthur continued.

Roman winced and looked down at his boots. Arthur’s first assumption was something he knew that the other sides would ask as soon as Remus set foot back into the Mindscape.

“I know,” Roman said, “But I can’t hide him away because I am afraid to be accused of a deed I never did. He needs to come home, Arthur, and hopefully home is where his memories will start to resurface. But I cannot stop thinking about what happens if they don’t believe me? What if they try to make me turn him away?”

Arthur’s aged hands held Roman’s own; a comfort he would never want to lose. With the wise gaze on him, Roman felt like a small child once again. Lost and confused on why he felt incomplete and why he did not know what he was supposed to do. No matter how old the prince got, he would always need guidance.

“You cannot know what their reaction will be. I am sorry I accused you of such thing but I merely worry for your health. You are very important to me,” Arthur paused to let the words sink in before he continued, “But I am willing to swear on my life that your friends will help you in the endeavor to help your brother, such as I am willing to.”

Roman gave a weak smile, “Thank you, Arthur, you really are the best friend I have.”

Arthur chuckled and let go of the prince’s hands. The old man placed a kiss to Roman’s head, just like he did when the side was a child. Withered hands tussled the hair on his head after and Roman could not stop the smile that grew from the action.

“I swore on the day of my arrival, I would protect and help you both as you grew. I will not stop, even though you have both grown into fine young men.”

“I don’t know what we would do without you.”

Arthur chuckled, “Me either. Now, I shall inform the council that you do not wish to create a great celebration upon your return. It is best that you both get some rest before your next journey.”

The man began to move towards the door but paused as another thought came to him. Arthur turned around; his manner more professional then the fatherly one he had expressed moments before.

“Shall I expect to see you both here tomorrow, your highness?”

“I…” Roman paused, “I believe you will. I do not plan to return until evening tomorrow at least.”

Arthur nodded and gave a small bow before he exited the room. Roman watched him leave. The doors closed with a final thump. When it did, Roman let himself flop ungracefully into a plush chair. 

Felt the tension and sadness he had been hiding finally be released. He did not cry but it felt like the stress of the entire year had finally melted off his bones. He was safe here. His brother was alive. He would get help to help Remus. Arthur believed him.

Everything was going to be okay. Finally.

* * *

Em did not know how he could feel so clean yet so wrong, but here he was. He felt uncomfortable as he sat on a stool in the bathroom. A towel was around his waist. He was cold from the shower, his skin felt like it had been rubbed raw, and the brush that was pulling at his hair was the worse torture he had ever been through.

All around him was a kaleidoscope of colors as the fairies did their work. He startled when two lights started to float over to him with scissors.

“Um, are they necessary?”

A jingle of bells answered him. He was surprised to find he understood them.

**“Yes. Your hair is too knotted.”**

“Oh. Okay…can we try and keep it at my shoulders?”

He pulled at a few strands nervously. Another jingle of bells told him that he could.

Em stared at the tiled wall as the fairies got to work. With every snip he felt his head get lighter. The pull of the brush to get some tangles free started to hurt less and less. The island’s mark on him slowly began to fall to the floor around the stool.

Another pair of fairies came over with a razor. Em rubbed the stubble on his chin instinctively.

“If you go Sweeny Todd on me, I will get a fly swatter,” he found himself saying. He winced, “Sorry.”

The fairies did not seem to care about what he had to stay. Instead they began their work. He felt the hairs on his face fall with those from his head. They did not do too much to the mustache except trim it to be more even.

For a reason he could not explain, he felt relieved.

What felt like hours and seconds all at once finally ended. The stool was spun around to show a mirror no longer covered in steam. In the reflection a man stared back. It took a moment for Em to realize this was himself.

The matted brown strands of hair had been brushed and clipped. They brushed at his shoulders and when he shook his head, they slapped his face. A grey streak was center stage on the top of his head. Now cleaned it looked more silver.

He wiggled his upper lip and giggled with the reflection did the same.

The weight from the hair being lost seemed to be a loss of something a weight he had been carrying. He shook his head like a dog with a laugh. The reflection also did the action.

He had not realized the fairies had left until three, red, green, and blue, flew over to his side with a green shirt and black pants. Clean clothes.

“Oh. Thank you,” he smiled at them, “Thank you so much for all of this.”

The fairies simply flew off to give him the privacy to change. The clothes felt nice; much nicer than the outfit he had worn for a year.

Another laugh bubbled out of him as he spun in a circle alone in the bathroom.

He felt good. He felt safe.

He couldn’t wait to see Roman’s face at this change. He had no idea why he wanted to show the brother he just found out about, but the urge was too strong to ignore.

Em left the room with a small skip in his step. A small giggle left him as he weaved his way through the rooms until he got to the parlor of the chamber. His feet hesitated when he got to the entrance and looked out at the room.

Roman sat in a chair, his head bowed. The prince did not seem to notice the new presence in the room.

Quietly bare feet moved over the carpet and into the room. Em eventually found himself standing directly in front of the prince.

Roman was sound asleep with his head squished against the chair’s back and his legs spread out in front of him. Some drool had started to escape his mouth.

“Well that does not look very comfortable,” Em looked around the room for a better spot to rest.

He knew the couch would probably be better for a nap, but he did not think he could move his brother on his own.

His head turned back to the sleeping prince and he almost shouted in surprise. The chair had changed into a black couch, fitted with a grey blanket thrown over the back. The coloring did not match with the room’s aesthetic and there was no way that someone could have moved a couch in here without him knowing.

There was only once logical conclusion.

“Magic,” he gasped and then smiled, “This place as everything.”

A quiet giggle left the former Duke as he pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and onto the sleeping form of Roman.

“Rest well,” He patted Roman’s head gently without much thought.

He glanced around the room again. It was a beautiful room. Not something he could ever have expected to have ungraded to from that island.

His feet took him around the perimeter as he let his fingers barely graze the red velvet on the walls. Em shut his eyes and let his feet take him where they wanted to go.

_“Red velvet? Really? Isn’t that a little tacky even for you?” He stood in the middle of the room with his arms folded. Clearly unimpressed with the new décor. Some of the walls were still simply white plaster._

_“Oh shut up You just have no class,” a man dressed in white put down the roll of wallpaper he held. _

_“Nope,” he laughed, “But I have a great ass! Which is way better then class.”_

The memory echoed in his ears as he kept his blind walk along the wall.

He stopped as he touched a doorframe. His eyes slowly opened.

Em found himself on the other side of the parlor, now face to face with a large door. The handle glittered like gold in the light of the room. He had his suspicions on where they door led to.

He looked back at Roman, still asleep in his chair, and then back at the door.

_“Would it really hurt to just look around this place?” _He stared at the sleeping Roman as the thought played through his head, _“Probably won’t even be awake when I get back.”_

The sound reasoning that he had created pushed Em ahead. Without another moment of hesitation he looked away from Roman and turned the handle.


	16. Chapter 14: Once Upon a December

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus wanders his way into a memory. One he can so clearly see but not fully grasp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, but it is extra long to make up for it! 
> 
> I got struck by another Remus-centered idea. So now I am double projected. woo!
> 
> TW: Sinus infection talk. Death talk. Intrusive thoughts. Blood talk.

*

Em found himself in a grand throne room.

The large door he had pushed open to enter gave a low bang as it shut behind him. The sound echoed around the large chamber; only slightly muffled by the tapestries that hung on the walls. He did not jump at the sound, simply stood in the entryway and looked around at where he found himself.

Windows above near the ceiling gave him the ethereal light of the moon outside. He had not been aware of the passage of time. Sunset had occurred without his knowledge for the first time in a year.

He took a breath and continued to observe the new room.

The floor was a polished marble. A long red carpet stretched from the entryway up towards a decorated dais. The carpet itself had silver and gold interlaced around the edges that gave a sense of great wealth. It was soft under his feet. His toes disappeared under the fluff as he walked forward.

The tapestries on the walls were intertwined with gold and silver thread. They depicted great scenes of dragons and unicorns and great battles. He only noticed a few.

One closest to the entrance portrayed a man in white and red with a silver sword held high. A large beast blew golden fire out towards him. Somehow, he knew the man was Roman and that the beast was the first battle between the prince and the dragon witch.

Opposite of the dragon witch tapestry was another. Here a man in green and black wielded a morning star that shone bright with silver thread. He stood on the edge of a cliff where tentacles seemed to rise up from an unseen ocean behind the cliff face. The weapon was just about to contact a limb.

His head hurt when he looked at this tapestry too long. He looked down at his feet as he moved closer to the dais.

_“I think this one is perfect!” He felt himself smile widely as he tried to hold up a massive tapestry. _

_Roman turned and made a face, “Really, The flying monkey war? Isn’t that a little bloody for a throne room?”_

_He pouted and looked down at it, “Well, we can’t account for taste. You are lucky I want to keep this for my own castle. How about you take this kraken one, I have about six others that are way more dramatic.”_

Em took a breath before he let himself look back up once more. He let his focus lay on the dais and the twin thrones that sat upon it.

The platform had a single stair that was inlaid with gold, silver, emeralds, and rubies. The carpet ran up the stair and then turned into the rectangle shape of the platform. An ornamental canopy hung over the dais. The rich wood held blue, almost black, velvet that framed the thrones like a picture frame.

He stopped his feet before he ascended the stair. His stomach twisted in a knot of distant familiarity.

One throne was made of a lighter oak wood, the other was of a darker stain. The first had gold designs around the arm rests. Gold buttons held the red velvet seat and black to the wood. The other had silver designs and buttons that held a rich green, slightly stained, velvet to the seat.

Em felt himself step up and gently trace his fingers along the armrest of the throne dressed in green. A faint line of dust came off on his fingers.

Everything was just so familiar and yet, at the same time, not. He felt disconnected from the world around him.

Moved around the throne slowly before he allowed himself to sink into the plush cushions. He sat with his back straight and not touching the chair’s back. He looked out at the empty hall where flecks of dust danced in the moon lit air.

He took a breath and closed his eyes.

_He opened his eyes to the hall filled with life. _

* * *

His legs were slung over the armrests of the chair as he watched people mingle about in the cheer of the air. Eight Christmas trees lined the walls, each decorated in an individual color of the rainbow and pink which should always be considered in the twins’ opinion. Fake snow sprinkled down toward the patron’s of the party but simply melted before it could land.

Em’s head lolled to the side so he could get a better look at the figure beside him in the second throne.

Roman had a large grin on his face. His normal white outfit replaced with one of a brilliant red with a white, fur-lined cloak hung on his shoulders with golden accents. A gold crown at on his head, a little lopsided from how the prince was bouncing in his seat.

“Do you see them yet? Do you think they will like it? I hope they like it.”

He hummed and rolled his eyes, “I think this party is rather dull looking. I should have hosted it.”

Roman paid no attention, “Oh I hope they like it.”

He swung his legs off the arm rest and let his feet touch the floor again. Keen eyes glanced around the room for…someone. He was no sure who. He couldn’t remember.

“Roman,” his voice sounded distant. Like it did not belong in the scene at hand, “Who are we waiting for?”

The prince just continued to bounce in his seat. A happy gasp let him as he spotted someone in the crowd. A person that Em could not pick out. All the faces were blurry even though he felt he should know them.

“They made it! Even your dark friends,” Roman jumped to his feet, “I’ll be back!”

Em felt like he should follow but found himself stuck to his throne. His eyes looked out into a crowd of people he did not know; could not identify. Roman had disappeared into the crowd despite the flashy outfit he was wearing.

He blinked.

Suddenly he found himself in the middle of the crowd with his arms around two people’s shoulders. He was laughing about something. He couldn’t remember what. He couldn’t recognize these two people. Even though he could look at their faces, see features, as soon as he looked away, they disappeared.

Both were dressed in black. One had a hat on his head and seemed at least a head shorter than him; gold accented the black ensemble. The other was taller by a few inches, with a rich purple sewn messily onto the suit jacket.

He felt happy they were there. He didn’t know why.

“I can’t believe you actually came to my brother’s lame party,” he heard himself say.

The one in purple scoffed, “Just came to rescue you from boredom.”

Em giggled and leaned on him, “A rescue? Does that make you my night in emo armor?”

“What does that make me? The steed, because I refuse to be such a role,” the one in gold said.

Whatever the one in purple said was drowned out as Em’s eyes landed on his brother across the way. He was dancing with someone he thought he knew but could not pin it down. The name so close but so far. A sour taste in the back of his mouth because his sinus’ were suffering from an infection. An infection **that could run into the brain. Slowly killing someone without them knowing because they simply think it is a head cold. **

Em closed his eyes tightly at the thought. When he opened his eyes he had moved again.

He was spinning around with the mystery figure in purple. A cackle escaped his own lips as they spun around at a nearly impossible pace. Despite not being able to identify features, Em could tell that his dance partner was uncomfortable and dizzy.

“Partner swap!” He heard himself shout as he ungracefully let go of his mystery friend and grabbed the person that had been dancing with Roman.

Another one in a black suit, but this with a rich dark blue.

He stopped spinning so fast as this figure took control rather quickly.

“I do believe that the tempo of the music is a slower waltz. You will tire yourself out faster if you continue at such a rate.”

“Oh.”

The dance fell into a more methodical tempo. Em heard his own voice say something but he did not register what. He let himself listen closely to the song; one he was slightly sure was not actually playing during this moment in time.

_Someone holds me safe and warm_  
Horses prance through a silver storm  
Figures dancing gracefully  
Across my memory

_Far away, long ago_  
Glowing dim as an ember  
Things my heart used to know  
Once upon a December

* * *

Roman had a headache; the exact opposite effect a nap was supposed to have.

He pressed the heel of his hand to his forehead. He wanted to go back to sleep. Travel always made him want to nap forever and this was doubled when he traveled with Remus. The temptress of the unconscious called back to the prince to rejoin her embrace.

He almost accepted the invitation. He would have gone willingly if the reality suddenly hit him.

With a gasp, the prince sat up. The blanket that had been draped over him slumped down into his lap.

“Remus.”

He had his brother back. Here. In the castle.

From the moonlight leaking through the curtains, it seems he had slept away the day. A day where his amnesiac brother had been left alone.

“Shit, shit, shit, SHIT! Remus!?!”

Roman stumbled off the couch, one he was sure had not been there previously, and ran to the next room. His room-sized closet was empty. The bathroom was empty. The private dining quarter was empty. The study was empty. The bedroom was empty.

Remus was nowhere.

Roman felt his heartbeat loudly in his chest. With the amount of panic running through he would not be surprised if Virgil was summoned. The anxious side would probably perceive it as a challenge to his claim as the panicked side of the Thomas-sphere.

He shook his head.

“Focus. Remus is gone. Gotta find Remus.”

He ended up back in the entry parlor and looked around. The second glance revealed the door into the hall was opened a crack.

He felt his blood run cold.

Normally if his twin was missing in the castle Roman would just follow the sound of screams. This was not ‘normally’.

This was a human being that would get lost in the maze of a castle that was first designed by a seven-year-old. A being that he was not sure how he would interact with familiar servants. A lost royal that would be the cause of news to spread across the nobles and Roman did not need that drama right now.

Roman charged out of his quarters. He hated that he slept in his travel clothes but was grateful that he had his boots still on. The stone floor echoed with every footfall.

He ignored the questioning looks from the few guards or servants he passed in the halls. He did not want to nor have the time to answer their questions.

He had to find his brother, again.

He could not lose Remus again.

He just got him back. He can’t.

_“I can’t lose him again.”_

Roman grit his teeth and jumped onto the banister of the grand staircase. With practiced ease he slide down and jumped off without a stumble. His feet already pushed him forward to continue the mad search through the palace.

He was in such a rush he almost missed how the carpet near the throne room door had been kicked up. No one really went in that room anymore. The formality had always bored Roman and Remus. Both always liked exploring and rarely were the two in the same place to hold formal meetings or parties anymore.

Roman stumbled to a stop and stared at the grand doorway.

His mouth felt dry. It reminded him too much of the doors he had found a year ago when he made the wrong choice. When he went into the cave instead of out to sea to find his brother.

“Please be right,” his hand shook as he reached for the handle.

The old hinges groaned as he pushed the door open and stepped inside.

Everything was the same as he left it three years ago. The tapestries still hung, the carpet still ran down the center, and the thrones still sat under the respective symbols. What had changed was the ball curled up in the throne under the sword.

Remus looked so small curled up in his throne asleep. His head was rested on his knees which were being hugged by green-clad arms. He looked so small; something Roman could never have imagined being associated with his twin.

As he got closer, he took in the new appearance. Remus’ hair was long, but clean and hanging over his face. A few strands were stuck in the drool that had started to slip out from parted lips. The shirt hung loose on his frame in a clear sign of how malnourished the duke had become.

“Oh Remus,” Roman sighed. The panic from his brother’s second disappearance had bled away into sheer exhaustion from his run.

He sunk down into the throne next to the sleeping brother. A silent guard as he caught his breath and tried to decide where to go from here.

His eyes moved around the room before they once again landed on Remus. A Remus who did not know who he was. A Remus who slept silently beside him without the usual snores. A Remus who looked so fragile.

Roman decided then what he would do and mentally apologized to Arthur.

“He’ll understand,” he said. A wave of a hand made a not appear in said figment’s chamber.

The prince took another moment to breathe before he stood up. He stretched his arms and cracked his back. He stood in front of the other side. Aware every slow breath that Remus took; proof he was alive and safe.

Roman usually could not pick Remus up casually. He could drag him, half-carry, fireman carry in an act of adrenaline but pick him up randomly. Not possible. But here he went to try and found it almost too easy. His brother felt too light for comfort. He tightened his hold protectively.

Remus didn’t stir. He just mumbled something under his breath that Roman could have sworn was about Spotted Dick. He hoped that was the pudding and not something else. Roman did his best to ignore the drool that now stained his shirt.

Roman was gentle as he stepped off the dais and moved towards the door.

“Come on, bro, let’s go home.”


	17. Chapter 15: Ready, Set...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman gets Remus home and plans on telling the others eventually. They can wait, right?  
Too bad Remus seems to have another idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. Final papers and exams got in my way but now that I am on break, I will try to be back on my regular weekend schedule.

The house was nearly silent as the occupants slumbered soundly within their rooms. The sound of the clock was a gentle metronome that created the beat that the gentle snores sang along to. A creak of a door being pushed open interrupted the song.

The door to the imagination was open just a crack. Some golden torch light filtered in and cut a line across the couch. All too soon it was gone behind a shadow of a figure cautiously peaking out.

Roman had to be sure the coast was clear. His sudden decision to bring Remus back tonight did not give the prince the right amount of prep for an explanation. Logan would want to investigate Remus to be sure that it was not a figment. Virgil would probably jump to a conclusion and not listen to what he was trying to say. Deceit would at least be able to tell he was not lying. Patton was a wild card that Roman did not want to even try to prepare for.

The living room was empty besides the throw blankets bunched up on the couch and the abandoned bowl of pretzels.

He glanced down at Remus. The side was still dead to the world, which did not surprise Roman too much. His brother could sleep soundly in the middle of an active warzone; he had seen it and it was terrifying. And slightly impressive.

“Potato,” Remus’ sleep talk forced Roman back to the now.

_“Alright. Just get up the stairs and into my room.” _

He nodded to his thought and carefully pushed the door open further. The torch light behind him illuminated the rest of the room. A calendar had been pinned to the wall next to the stairwell; days were marked off with red ‘x’s. He could only guess this was the count down for when he was supposed to return.

Roman pulled his eyes away from the change as he stepped into the room quietly as he could. He gently pushed the door closed with his foot once he was free of the frame. The usually soft click seemed ten times louder in the quiet of the living room.

He stiffened and held his breath as he strained his ears for any sign that someone had heard him come in.

The clock was the only consistent sound.

He let out a sigh and then a soft chuckle. At this rate he really would turn into Virgil with how much he was worried. He took a step toward the stairs and then paused.

In a cheesy story this would be the moment where someone would appear, scare him, and then he would have to have a late-night talk with everyone to explain what happened. Roman glanced over his shoulders, squinted at the shadows in the corners, and even looked into the kitchen.

No one.

“Huh, no one is going to take advantage of my dramatic timing. Rude,” Roman whispered a loud as he made his way up the stairs as carefully as possible.

When he reached the top, he prepared himself for his next challenge. His door was at the very end of the hallway.

For a moment he considered the door across the hall from Logan’s. Their old room. So close and an easy hiding place. All he would have to do is unlock it and everything would be just as it should be once more.

He quickly dismissed the idea. The key to the door was in his room. A stealth mission to just go into another stealth mission was ridiculous. His room would be perfectly fine for the night.

_“Just get past the doors.”_

Roman moved on his tiptoes. Logan’s door was easy to pass. The logical side was not the heaviest sleeper, but it does take longer for him to wake before his usually seven-am rising time. Deceit’s door was next. Roman held his breath a little as he moved past it. Deceit was not a happy riser and would bite his head off if woken up; especially since the snake had trouble falling asleep in the first place.

Patton’s door was next to that. Roman moved extra carefully as he passed it. The prince did not know how but Patton had an extra sense on when someone was in or near his room. It did not matter how loud Pat’s snores were or how deep the side was asleep, he would be up and know. Virgil had called it the ‘parent sense’ once.

As Roman got passed the pastel blue door for Morality he allowed himself a wary glance at the dark purple door that stood before his own deep red. There was no way to tell if Virgil was sleep or not. Roman was not even sure if the side ever actually slept. Even if Virgil did sleep, Roman was pretty certain he was a light sleeper.

Remus mumbled something into the prince’s shirt before he settled back into whatever weird dream he was concocting in his head.

_“Just one more door.” _

Roman took a breath and held it as he slowly shuffled past Anxiety’s door. The faint glow of fairy lights escaped under the crack. He saw a shadow move across them and he froze. His grip on Remus tightened and he heard his brother mumble unhappily.

He allowed himself to continue moving when he heard mumbled singing come from the room. Virgil was probably mumbling along to a song in his headphones, which meant Roman could move faster. He shifted his hold on Remus just enough to grab the door handle.

He only allowed himself to breathe when the door shut behind him; he was safe. He had made it.

His mind wanted to jump to what would happen in the morning. How he could possibly explain what had happened and what this meant, but his body pushed him towards the bed.

Roman tried to be gentle as he laid his twin down. The red comforter clashed greatly with the green shirt Remus wore and yet Roman thought it was the best thing he had ever seen.

A laugh wanted to bubble forth. After a year he had his brother again and the first thing he thinks once they are back in a shared room is that the green clashes with the red.

He had to put a hand over his mouth to keep the laughter muffled. A wave of his free hand turned the grand poster bed into a bunk bed. Almost exactly the same as the one they had when they were younger.

With Remus situated, and with about ninety percent certainty that his brother would not wake up and wander off, Roman set about on his next task. A shower and a change of clothes. Travel, especially by boat and then carriage, really made him feel disgusting.

“Don’t move,” he whispered to the sleeping side before he turned on his heel and marched towards the bathroom.

Ready to drown any leftover worries in the warm spray of the water and lilac body wash.

* * *

The smell of coffee and bacon wafted through the house. It drew Patton out of his cozy bed and into the hallway. The ears on his bunny slippers bounced with every step down the hall. He briefly paused at Deceit’s door and gave a knock.

“Wakey, wakey, snakey.”

“Five mo’ minutes,” was hissed back to him from behind the door.

Patton chuckled and shook his head. He knew it was a lie. It was the same lie the side had told since Thomas was seven, but he would allow it.

“I’ll hold you to it, sleepy noodle.”

He left the door with a giggle and continued to make his way out of the hallway. A skip in his step as he got down the stairs and turned into the kitchen.

Logan stood next to the coffee pot. His eyes were closed behind his glasses as he waited for it to fill up.

Virgil sat on the counter next to the stove with a cup of orange juice in hand. Bacon crackled on the pan next to him.

“Virgil, it is better to be standing while cooking breakfast,” Patton moved to grab a mug from the cabinet.

“I’m not cooking it. I found it like this when I got down here.”

Patton set his cat mug down on the counter and looked at the anxious side confused. Then he looked to Logan.

“Oh, well, it was very nice of you to start breakfast for us Logan.”

The logical side blinked and looked to Patton with a confused expression. “You are welcome? But all I did was begin making the coffee. I thought that you were the one that started the actual food.”

Patton shook his head no, “I was asleep.”

Virgil tensed and slowly set down his glass, “And Deceit doesn’t get up till noon. Then who-?”

“Eggs, bacon, toast, probably mustard. Or just gasoline…would he even eat that now?”

The three turned to the entrance of the kitchen just as Roman entered through the doorway. His mutterings to himself stopped when he saw the three sides there.

“Oh,” the prince blinked, “Um, you are all up early.”

“Roman!” Patton felt a grin about to grow.

“Roman!?!” Virgil sounded confused and surprised.

“Ah, Roman,” Logan turned back to the coffee machine.

Patton flung himself at the creative side and crushed him in a hug, “I thought you would be back tomorrow! Oh we were going to make a cake and celebrate it, not that I am not happy that you are back early, just that everything isn’t ready to welcome you home.”

“You can still make the cake if you want to, I won’t stop you,” Roman smiled.

Patton gave one last squeeze before he let go and looked Roman over completely. The side looked tired. He was still in his pajamas and it was clear from the messy hair that he had not expected anyone to be up.

“And you can help me with it,” Patton added with a grin.

Roman gave a smile but he seemed distracted. His eyes continued to flick back to the stairs.

“Why are you back early?” Virgil hopped off the counter, “Thought you would have taken as many days as possible.”

“Yeah, well, got done early,” the prince moved toward the stove, “Bacon is done. Was just about to make some eggs if you guys want some. I can crack enough for everyone.”

He set the pan to the side and started to move to the fridge, but his path was blocked by Logan. The side sipped from his new full mug of coffee.

“You did not expect us to be in here and yet you made enough bacon for more than just yourself.”

Roman laughed nervously, “I was just making sure that everyone would have some when they got up. I’m thoughtful like that.”

“Aw, thank you Roman,” Patton smiled, “I’ll help you if you want.”

The prince smiled, “That would be gre-.”

A scream echoed through the house and made the four sides in the room freeze. Patton looked to Logan, Logan to Virgil, and Virgil to Roman. The prince stared at the door. He had gone several shades paler.

Someone stomped down the stairs.

“I said I was sorry! I didn’t know anyone was in that room, I’m not even sure how I got in this house!” A familiar voice whined. Nasally and dramatic; something that had not been heard in the mindscape for over a year.

Deceit turned the corner. His curls a mess, sleep-mask pushed up to keep the wayward hairs out of his face. The robe hung open over his pajamas and the look he gave the sides was one that could kill.

Behind him a thin, taller figure was hunched over. Long hair tangled from sleep and an apologetic look on his face.

Patton’s hands moved over his mouth as a shocked gasp escaped him.

The figure looked up. Vibrant green eyes locked onto Roman. A smile spread on the face to show a gap between the front teeth.

“Remus,” Patton whispered the name. The eyes only glanced at him for a second before the other half of creativity moved around Deceit and hurried to his brother’s side.

He bounced on his toes as the grin only seemed to get wider.

“I thought I slept walked out of the castle or something. Where are we? How did we get here? Who is the pretty dragon man?”

Deceit blinked, “Pretty?”

Patton could not believe what he was seeing. He could still remember the night that Roman had hunched over in pain. The months of mourning his friend had gone through and now the side that had caused that was standing right there.

“Well, that does explain the extra amount of bacon,” Logan cut off the silence.

Remus’ head snapped to look over at the teacher. Then he looked at everyone else in the room. His tanned face dusted pink and he seemed to cling tighter to Roman’s arm.

“Um, did I interrupt something?”

Roman sighed, “No, Em, you didn’t. I’m sorry I didn’t wake you before taking you home, but it was a last-minute decision.”

“Roman, what is this?” Virgil looked at the returned side warily, “Did you make-oh this is sick, even for you.”

“Virgil, let me explain,” Roman ran a hand through his hair, “I didn’t exactly wanted this to go this way, but I was going to tell you all. Eventually.”

“So never?” Virgil accused.

Patton winced.

Roman’s face went red and he pushed his twin behind him.

“No, I was going to tell you. I just wanted to be prepared when you began accusing me of things like you are now.”

Virgil opened his mouth but was cut off by a sleepy drawl.

“As much as I love shouting in the morning, I do think that the best course of action is to let him sssspeak,” Deceit yawned into his hand as he moved further into the room, “Logan, will you be so kind as to make me a cup?”

“Yeah, V, making just calm down a little?” Patton gave a nervous smile, “I am sure Roman can explain everything to us at breakfast.”

Morality waited until Virgil’s shoulders slumped before he turned to the twins. It was jarring to have the two once again. He was not sure how to feel and that was never good for him being emotions.

“How about you take R-your brother up to change, Ro? And we all can eat together and talk about what happened.”

Roman looked behind Patton at the rest of the sides before he nodded.

“Come on, Remus.”

“Oh? We are going?” Remus seemed startled by the decision that had just been made. His eyes going from distant to razor focused.

“Just to get changed before breakfast.”

“Alright! Bye pretty dragon man! Bye emo! Bye hot teacher! Bye dad-guy!”

Roman pushed his brother out of the room in the midst of the weird goodbyes. Patton reached a hand back and took Virgil’s in his own and gave it a reassuring squeeze. A king smile was sent Virgil’s way once the twins were completely out of the room.

“Everything will be fine, Virgil, don’t you worry.”

“It can’t be him, Pat, it can’t be. I don’t…I can’t…”

Patton pulled the side in for a gentle hug, “You will be okay. It is okay to feel. Just breathe, whatever this is, it will be okay.”


	18. Chapter 16: I Know You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting ready for breakfast goes from twin teasing to startling realizations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for another filler chapter. I was jumping into breakfast and then I was like, but what if. And here we are. I will get them all introduced to the situation eventually. This fic is just getting longer and longer lol.
> 
> Warnings: Disturbing thoughts, thoughts of drowning, tentacles, sword, panic attacks, some intrulogical hints, suggestive conversation topic

Em had a smile on his face as he once again entered the bedroom. While he was confused on how he got in this nice house, he could not deny that he felt surge of energy that he had never experienced before. He wanted to jump, run, and shout; fly if he was able to. He swallowed down the impulses to flop down on the bed he woke up on.

“Remus.”

It took a second for his brain to register the name as his own. Slowly he turned his head. Roman stood next to the bed with an annoyed expression.

He amnesiac felt a knot begin to form in his stomach. Everything in him told him to roll over or make a joke. He wracked his brain to what he had done to warrant such a reaction. Sure he had scared the pretty dragon man and seemed to spook the other people in the room, but he did not mean to.

“Why did you go into Deceit’s room?”

_Deceit._

Em blinked slowly. A strange name, so familiar and yet distant. He liked it and at the same time thought to how it did not fully fit the wonderful creature he had found nested in a mound of blankets and stuffed animals.

“To be quiet honest, I had no idea that someone was in there. I was looking for you and I opened a door. There was a bed with a mass of blankets moving with someone breathing. I walked over and moved some things to find him and then I felt something touch my leg. I screamed. He screamed. We all screamed for ice cream!”

The words came out without much pause and ended with a deranged giggle. The memory was extra funny by the slow face palm his brother went and how his face stretched as the hand moved downwards. Roman opened his mouth and then closed it again.

“Alright,” he breathed out after a moment, “It was my fault that I left you alone for so long. Now we just have to roll with the consequence.”

Em sat up and crossed his legs. He held his ankles close to his body and squeezed. The slight twinge of pain it brought calmed the roar of nonsense that had wanted to build up in his brain.

“Consequence?” Some strands of hair found their way into his mouth and he chewed on them without much thought.

Roman’s hand moved and pulled the hair out Em’s mouth.

“Yes, I was going to wait some time before I reintroduced you to everyone downstairs,” Roman paused, “Wanted to figure out how we were going to explain your whole situation without it seeming too fantastical.”

“What is wrong with fantastical? It seems pretty wild to me. Like a movie or an overused story trope trying to be original.”

Roman gave a small smile and shook his head in amusement. Something warm settled in Em’s chest at the sight. He felt accomplished every time he got Roman to smile.

“Logan-.”

“Who?”

“Um…” Roman’s face flushed a little, “The one you called hot teacher dude. He is not too big on the fantastical. Will probably need to run some tests on you to confirm you are you.”

Em blinked, “What kind of test?”

“Well,” Roman held out his right hand while he used the left to point to each finger as a make-shift list, “maybe memory, probably reflexes, abilities, could also ask for a physical.”

A smirk found it’s way onto the ex-duke’s face. He leaned closer to the edge of the bed, “Well, I don’t mind that last one. I’d play test subject for him any day.”

“Yes, well, he can be obsess-“ Roman stopped himself and looked away from his hand to stare at his twin. Em stared right back. He knew what he said.

“Mother of Disney, you are still so gross! I did not need to hear that!”

Em’s gaze broke as he fell into laughter. His back hit the plush comforter as he let go of his ankles. His nasally snorts were joined with Roman’s own booming laugh.

“All I am saying-oof!” A pillow slammed into Em’s face.

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence. I would like to have some appetite for breakfast.”

Em pushed the pillow off his face and threw it in the direction he heard Roman’s voice. The thump and the triumphant laugh told him that he missed. He let out a disappointed huff and rolled onto his stomach.

Roman had moved across the room and was at a white wardrobe that was covered in different shiny stickers. The prince hummed to himself as he shuffled through the contents.

Em narrowed his eyes at the other man. He wished he had another pillow to throw. Or maybe a paper ball or a rock. Catch his twin off guard and continue the fight.

He was broken from his musing as something whizzed by his ear. He watched as it moved towards Roman’s back. Just as it was about to hit the prince turned around and a paper ball fell to the ground in two. Cut by a sword that had not been in Roman’s hands a second ago.

Em sat up and looked over his shoulder to see who had thrown it but no one was there.

“Nice try, Dukey, but you still cannot get the jump on me,” Roman gloated.

“But I didn’t throw that.” Em moved to the edge of the bed to peer under it.

“You don’t have to throw it to make it happen,” Em looked up to see his brother roll his eyes and turn back to the wardrobe. The sword was nowhere in sight.

He went to ask what his brother meant but found his voice cut off he watched his brother’s pajamas turn into an outfit fit for a prince. He threw a bundle of clothes at a basket next to the wardrobe, grabbed something from inside, and closed the doors with his hip.

“I do not actually have your clothes in my room, but I am sure these will do if you do not wish to be in your normal attire,” Roman moved back over to the bunk bed in the center of the room and placed down the offered clothes.

“How did you do that?”

“Do what?”

Em waved his hands wildly at his brother as if was not clear what he had meant. The man had literally just waved a hand and suddenly he was in a different outfit entirely. No struggling to get pants on after a shower and your legs were still wet. No need to leave the room.

“That! You just…just…poof new clothes!”

Roman’s confused expression changed into emotions that Em could not define.

“Remember the explanation on more things that we are that I said I could not tell you about?”

“Uh, kinda?”

“Well, that is part of it. I can just change at will; we all can actually.”

Em was only more confused, “How, though?”

Roman opened his mouth to say something but then closed it again.

“If you don’t tell me I will hold my breath until you do,” a perfect bribe. Em sucked in a loud breath and dramatically puffed his cheeks out so his twin knew he was serious.

“Em, come on, I don’t think I can give it to you in a way that does not sound scary.”

Em’s eyes watered but he simply shook his head and continued to hold his breath.

“Remus, come on, can’t we eat before we talk about this?”

It was a stare off. Eventually one would have to break and Em was not about to do that yet. He would hold on until he went blue in the face **and passed out from a lack of oxygen. Maybe even damage the brain. **

He held back a giggle at the thought and narrowed his eyes at Roman. Roman was squirming.

“Fine, we are facets of an actual person’s personality!”

Em let the air lowly like a balloon so he blew a long raspberry. He took a few breaths before he smiled widely.

“See, that was not so hard. Now I knew we are imaginary!”

Roman blinked, “And you aren’t, weirded out by that?”

Em frowned as he thought about it. He felt real but at the same time did not feel completely whole. He knew there was someone he wanted to help and motivate creatively but he did not know who. Somehow the words that Roman had told him only made him feel at peace with the weirdness of his situation.

“I mean, a little,” Em admitted, “But at the same time it makes sense. I don’t think that I could have survived whatever happened to me if I was an actual breathing human.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I am pretty sure I died,” Em said the words without much thought. Only after they came out did a frown begin to form on his face. He stared down at his hands.

Had he died? Why was he so okay with that? **Why did he think back on the fact of death as if it was a game he had lost to an old friend?**

_Dark water surrounded him. He was so deep in the depths that he could feel the water pressure trying to turn him over. His lungs screamed for air that he could not get. He knew had been dead. He knew death well. An old friend to him that accepted him into the void many, many times as his body tried to stitch itself back together._

_He let darkness take over once more. _

_Someone said something close to him. _

Cold hands touched his face and he jolted back in shock, but the hands held firm. A new person was in front of him but the tears in his eyes blurred the image to just black and purple. **Like a bruise, a tiny painful galaxy.**

“Dammit, Princey, what did you do?” A gruff voice spoke. He sounded angry but it was not directed at him.

“Why do you think I did something!?!”

“Because you always do something,” was the response, “Come up here to see if you died or something and instead, I find you put him into a panic attack.”

“I didn’t mean to.”

Em blinked away the tears and they rolled down his face. He felt them get caught onto the cold hands that gently, but firmly, held him in reality. The person turned his head to face him once more.

“Breathe for me, Em, in for four seconds.”

Em’s eyes widened as he followed along the familiar mantra. The emo knew the words. Those words that pulled him through many nightmares and painful flashbacks.

“Hold for seven seconds.”

_A shivering body was pressed against Em’s chest. He wanted to run a hand through his hair but felt it better to just wrap the person in a tighter hug. He was not too alarmed with two arms were joined by four tentacles. _

_“Come on, Emo, you got this. Just listen to my voice and breathe for me just like Dee taught you. In for four, hold for seven and-.”_

“Out for eight,” he said the words allowed as he let the breathe out.

The emo tried to let go as soon as it seemed that Em was calm enough. The loss of the cool touch made a whine slip out and he grabbed the hands before he could get away. He had a feeling that this person would run as soon as he was given the chance. Em could not allow that, not when he knew this person.

“I-I know you,” Em looked over the emo. He desperately wanted a name, but it was stuck on the tip of his tongue.

“Um, yeah, I would hope so,” the emo looked confused.

“Really!?! You recognize him immediately but when I crash into you all you can say is ‘who are you’?”

Em’s head turned to Roman. His brother stood by the bed and looked offended. Shame burned in his gut and he ducked his head to look away. He did not know why he remembered his connection faster than his brothers.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“What are you two talking about? Why would he not knew who you are?”

Remus scoffed as if it was obvious, “Because he has amnesia, thanks for waiting until the family meeting.”

Em’s cheeks flared up a bright red and he pulled his hands away. He grabbed his ankles and squeezed. The small combination of pain and pressure grounded him as the two argued over his head.

“Well, I would not have asked if you didn’t say anything.”

“Remus said something first,” Roman sounded like a child. Trying to push the blame onto a sibling. Em guessed that was exactly what the prince was doing.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was a secret we were keeping,” Em pressed down more. The cold hands returned to move his grip off himself.

“You don’t nothing to fell sorry about, Remus, Roman is bring a dick as usual,” a gruff voice spoke.

The sound that came from Roman made a weak smile appear on Em’s face. He pushed it down with a shake of his head and looked up at the person seated in front of him.

“No, he is right. I don’t know why I recognized you faster, but I am sorry. If it means anything to you, Roman, I don’t know how I know him or his name.”

“Don’t patronize to him, it’s weird,” The emo said, “But you really don’t know anything?”

“Well, I would not say that. I can still talk and walk and eat and fuc-“

“I meant who we are,” the emo said hastily.

“Oh! Well then nope! Nothing, except fuzzy pieces my brain wants to throw at me every so often. I don’t catch very well so I usually don’t remember much. Like I don’t know why I was helping someone, who I think was you, but I remember the 4-7-8 thing while on my island.”

The emo looked to Roman. Roman looked back at him. Em just watched them have a silence conversation. He wondered if being imaginary meant being telepathic. Could he learn to send mind messages? He tried to send something to them, but it did not seem to get through. Unless they were really good at ignoring a voice that shouted ‘BUTTS’ as many times in a row as he possibly could.

“Well, Logan might have a better explanation for all of this, provided that Thomas knows enough about amnesia,” the emo said after a while. He looked back to Em and gave a crooked smile.

“Anyway, I guess reintroducing time, I’m An-…I’m Virgil.”

Remus smiled, “Like the Roman poet! Did you know that it was a well-known in his day that he was attracted to men?”

“Cool, now I have a gay connection to my name. Makes it more awesome,” Virgil smirked.

The warm feeling of pride started to grow once more in Em’s chest.

“Now, who is ready for an extremely awkward breakfast?” The sarcasm from Virgil made Remus laugh.

“Yes, right, that is why you are in my room. Which I did not invite you in, might I add,” Roman pulled the attention back to himself, “We will be down in a moment. Remus still has to change.”

“I’m still wearing day clothes,” Em rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, “This’ll be fine. Besides, I am a messy eater. I don’t want to dirty your clothes because I got syrup or mustard on them.”

“Mustard? Why do you need mustard?”

Em rolled his eyes at Virgil, “For my pancake sandwich, duh.”

The man looked at him blankly before he pushed himself off the bed, “Now I know why Dee doesn’t wake up for breakfast. You are a mess, but at least it is better than battery acid. See you downstairs.”

Virgil left without another word and Em turned his attention to his twin.

“Why would he suggest battery acid? And why am I not opposed to that idea?”

Roman just threw a shirt at his face, “Don’t even think about it. Change or we won’t get any of the bacon I made.”

Remus pulled the shirt off his head and stuck his tongue out at his brother as the man left the room. He did not understand Roman, he did not understand a lot really, but there was no reason for him to threaten crispy breakfast treats like that.


	19. Chapter 17: Weird Science

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this chapter is short. Especially after such a long wait. 
> 
> I just needed to get something out there for y'all.

Em was trying his best to not fidget but it was hard when he had been sitting on the couch for nearly an hour. Logan had said he wanted to run a couple of tests, just as Roman had predicted, but it turns out there was no hidden lab for him to be dragged to. What is worse is that he is still in a very public space for this examination. Every pinch and poke on display so there is an extra amount of awkward staring. Just a carry over from the staring at breakfast Em had to imagine.

He did not get why they thought his pancake sandwich was so interesting.

He was brought back to the world as something tickled his lower stomach. A giggle escaping as he tried to move back from the cold fingers that brushed over a clean scar. Logan held him in place as he observed. Then the hand was gone but still left Em with phantom tickles that kept the giggle going. 

"Appendix?" The teacher looked to Em's side where Roman sat.

Roman nodded, "He wanted to know what it would feel like."

Logan nodded and wrote it down something in his notebook. Em took the chance to lower his shirt and crossed his arms over his chest. He did vaguely wonder what an appendix bursting felt like but decided not to ask. Instead he let out a dramatic sigh and pouted his face. Besides the tickle attack this was boring.

“When I was promised an examination, I was expecting things to get a little more saucy.”

He wiggled his shoulders and eyebrows but Logan seemed unimpressed. Not even a smile got through the mask of indifference. The only reaction he got from it was another note being written down and a back turned to him. 

“Remus, behave,” Roman whispered and nudged him in the ribs.

Em shoved back, “No. It is your fault I am being pinched and poked in the boring way.”

His brother rolled his eyes and got up to sit next to the dad guy, Patton. Looks like the prince can dish it but can't take it.

"Is this even necessary?" Em whined. Why could they not believe that he was 'real'. Roman was their friend and while Em was only getting a little bit of familiarity of this place back he still would think they would have to believe their friend.

"It's just so we are all at a peace of mind," Patton reassured. Em did not find it reassuring. 

Instead he turned his head back to Logan's back. A very good thing to look at if he was being honest with himself. 

“For being so sexy, you are a real bore,” Em leaned against the armrest, "I was hoping for a hidden lab or a more private setting."

“Still has no filter,” Logan wrote down the words he said aloud.

“I can hear you, ya ’know.”

“That was the intention," Em could sense the smirk even without seeing Logan's face. 

Virgil snickered from where he sat on the floor. He was the only one, other then Roman, that had not been staring at him weirdly. Em had to push back the natural instinct to push the headphones off the emo’s head. Even if he kind of knew him, he still felt Virgil was a friendly stranger. It was a strong urge. Like the urge to just casually bump into Roman a _little _too hard. 

"You got sass and looks," Em commented, "Two out of three ain't bad." He was not ashamed to let out a small chuckle as his eyes scanned the body. He did not raise his gaze up when Logan turned around.

“I believe the phrase is ‘my eyes are up here’.”

“And what beautiful ones they are too,” Em let his gaze rise back up to Logan’s face, “Would love to pluck them out and keep them in a jar.”

He heard the dad guy gasp and caught a glance at his brother cringing. Then the words caught up with him.

Em’s eyes widened and he clapped hands over his mouth. He had not meant to say that out loud. The only expression he got from Logan was a quirked up eyebrow and another note being written down. Why was he not disturbed? He just said he wanted to pluck out his eyes. 

“I-I am so sorry-," Em began but Logan waved it off. 

“Do not apologize. This is to figure out what affects amnesia has on a side. Seeing these outbursts are still apart of you I can safely say that your function has not been erased with your memories.”

“And that is good?” Roman asked, “So it proves that he is Remus and we can stop this whole examination?”

“Oh, I already knew it was Remus.”

“What!?!”

Em covered his ears from the sound of everyone talking over one another.

“Why are we doing this then?” Roman asked. His brother looked strangely defensive.

“I could have told you that,” Virgil said.

It only seemed the dad, Patton, was the one truly shocked.

“So he isn’t a figment?”

Logan waited until they quieted before he continued, “It would be impossible for an imagined creation of Roman or Remus to leave the imagination. Even with their assistance, it cannot pass the barrier. When a creature does it disappears within an hour.”

Logan gestured to the very not disappeared and alive Remus, “Seeing as he has been here all night, I can assure you all this is a side to Thomas. What I don’t understand is how a side could lose all of their personal memories and even the memory of their purpose.”

Logan looked to him as if he had some kind of explanation but all Em could give him as a shrug. He did not even know his real name until a couple of days ago and even then, he was not too comfortable with using it. The only thing that made sense to him was he was part of another person and, in when he tried to look at it logically, that was weird. He liked weird. He did not like the expectant look that Logan was giving him however.

He brought his knees up to his chest and hugged them tight.

“Is there a way to fix him?” Roman asked.

Em wrinkled up his nose but bit his lip to stay silent.

_“Fix me like I’m a broken toy. Smashed and has to be glued back together.” Sew the eyes back on the dolly even if they are the wrong color."_

“Fix him?” Logan seemed surprised at the question, “I do not think that is the proper phrasing to use, but there are many cases of amnesiacs recovering their memories. I would have to ask Thomas to dig further into the topic for me to give you a more concrete answer.”

Roman seemed to brighten at that.

“But there is the question on if he even wants to remember,” Logan continued and made Roman’s happiness dim, “and if that is the best course of action would be best for Remus. His amnesia could be a reset.”

Roman grabbed Em’s arm and pulled him up so they both stood.

“He isn’t a computer that was factory rebooted,” the prince’s grip tightened, “This was an accident and we can help bring him back.”

“But I’m right here and you are the one that said we have to fix me,” Em said but it did not seem like his brother heard him.

“We’ll be in my room if you need us. Don’t need us,” Roman finished.

Em did not want to leave the living room but Roman’s grip seemed unbreakable. He stumbled along behind and only was able to send a confused look to Virgil before the pair turned the corner. Em had to move quickly to keep up with the fast pace of his brother. The stairs were nearly a death trap as he took them two at a time.

“I can’t believe them. Why would they not want to help you get your memories back? How could they think that Thomas would even want this?”

Roman’s hand reached out and tried to turn the nob of a bicolored door. The door clicked and did not budge. It seemed to stop the rage in its tracks as Roman let his grip weaken on Em’s arm enough for him to wiggle free.

Roman did not react. He simply stared at the door with a confused expression then lightly thumped his forehead against the wood.

“Why aren’t you as mad as me about this?”

Em shrugged and glanced back at the stairs, “Guess I don’t really know why I should be.”

“Why would you not be? They don’t want you to get your memories back.”

Em thought back to the conversation with a small tilt of the head.

“I don’t think they ever really said that.”

“W-well, they do consider this a reset,” Roman faltered.

“I think Logan was just saying that was a possibility.”

Cautiously, Em placed a hand on the small of his brother’s back and rubbed slow circles.

“But, they…I…ug, I messed up again.”

“I don’t know about the past mess ups, but I can say you did jump to conclusions.”

Roman let out a weak laugh, “When did you become the wise one?”

“When you got so angry, bro-ro. Now you should probably apologize to them. I’m sure this will all fix itself.”

The man stiffened under Em’s hand and he took that as a sign to move back. Maybe it was too soon to suggest apologizing. Em worried he had taken it a step too far for this brother’s liking. They had only just reunited he being too pushy now?

“What did you call me?” Roman looked at him with awe.

“Uh, bro-ro? Was that not something I should have said? I’m so sorry it just-WHOA!”

The hug was bone crushing but Em did not find he minded; just merely startled by the sudden embrace. A little laugh left him as he patted his brother’s head.

“There, there big guy. It is just a nickname.”

“A wonderful nickname,” Roman sighed.

“You are so sappy. If this happens every time, I accidentally remember something we are never going to be able to get anywhere.”

Roman slowly let go and stood up taller, “You’re right. Despite it being something I never thought I would say, you are right. About both me apologizing and me hugging you.”

Em pulled on the bottom of the shirt and looked back at the stairs, “You can do it later if you don’t want to do it now. I think it would be good for everyone to just think it over.”

Roman sighed. “Another good point, I don’t think I like this. If you are the rational one, what does that make me?”

“The dumb one?” Em grinned. The answer came so naturally. A laugh bubbled out at the offended face that appeared on Roman’s face. He knew he had ten seconds before he needed to run, somehow, but still took most of them to remember the stupid look on his brother’s face. Then he was off with a mad cackle.

“Get back here, you goblin!”

“Boys! No running in the house!” Came a distant call from downstairs. One that Em or Roman had no intention on listening to.

**Author's Note:**

> Point out any mistakes in the comments


End file.
